Lies, Love, Life
by dabombbritt
Summary: "Going home means facing everything that you left behind." -Charlie. Phoebe Johnson is admitted to Ocean Park Hospital after experiencing a horrible accident involving the death of her twin sister and father. Watching her mother slowly die before her, she is pushed to the brink of sanity and turns to self harm. Can Bee finally confront her disease or lie to the Red Bands forever?
1. Chapter One: Peg Leg Pete

**Phoebe's POV**

It's technically my first official day here at Ocean Park Hospital. I'm reaching for a fruit cup across the serving counter in the bright lunch room when I feel something bump into the back of my heel.

"Ouch," I say stepping out of the way and looking down.

"Oh crap, I'm so sorry!" Says a bald guy in a wheelchair. "I'm still trying to get the hang of this." He swivels the wheels on his chair a little bit causing it to turn side to side slightly.

"You're totally fine." I say smiling kindly down at him. He returns the gesture and reaches for a fruit cup unsuccessfully. I chuckle and hand one down to him.

"Heh, thanks" He says and I think I see a little pink in his cheeks. I smile and take a few steps forward in the line, him carefully wheeling behind me. "So, am I going out on a limb here when I ask if you're new around here?" I shake my head and shrug.

"Nope. That's absolutely right." He clears his throat and carefully moves up beside me.

"Well I'm guessing if you're like most of us you still have yet to find a lunch group." He says coolly and I scan the room noticing various clicks at different tables.

"Yep, but I have a good feeling that you're going to extend an invitation to me." I bat my eyelashes actually hoping that he will and I'm not stuck sitting alone at a table like a loser. He shrugs.

"Maybe." I squint my eyes playfully at him and his serious expression gives way to a smile. "I'm kidding. It's unlike the Red Banders to reject a new member." We make our way out of the line and towards an almost full table.

"Red Banders?" I mumble wondering if I've gotten myself into a satanic cult. We approach the table slowly, the bald guy being extra cautious not to bump into any tables or chairs. I could see now the loose fabric beneath his left knee and made the connection that he was missing his leg.

We finally come a table with four of the six seats filled. All eyes are on me when we come over and I feel my face grow warm. I smile despite the awkwardness while the bald teen introduces me.

"Hey guys this is," He stops abruptly and his eyes widen at me. "Oh. well actually I don't know your name."

"Oh," I laugh nervously and address the whole table. "I'm Phoebe, Phoebe Johnson. But everyone just kind of calls me Bee." They all nod and I let out a shaky breath. There is a moment of silence before a dark skinned boy finally speaks up.

"Leo, man, are you just gunna make our girl Bee stand there all lunch or you gonna invite her to sit with us." I giggle and glance at the bald guy who moves out of the way just to bump into the empty table behind him.

"Damnit" He mumbles and he gestures towards the table. I look at the empty seats trying decide who I thought hated me the least -the dark skinned boy or a girl who looked slightly older than me with something on her chest when I hear a voice speak up.

"Hey Kara scoot over a bit." A cute brown haired boy says.

"Why? Does lover boy want to sit next to the New Girl?" The dirty blonde girl with the thing on her chest snickers before reluctantly bumping over a seat.

"Don't listen to Kara, she just likes to embarrass the Hell out of everyone." He whispers to me when I sit down. I laugh because its all I can find myself doing in the presence of this cute guy. He smile sweetly before my attention is snapped across the table.

"So what are you in for?" A small girl asks softly. He has long brown hair and is wearing a small black bowler cap that surprisingly she can rock

"What?" I ask feeling like an idiot for paying more attention to the warm brown color of the boy next to me's eyes.

"She's sayin, why are you here? What's your illness." The dark skinned boy speaks up again. I feel my heart jump into my throat as I flounder for a lie to tell them.

"Um, actually its inconclusive right now." I shrug and try to keep color from exploding in my cheeks. "One day I just blacked out and now here I am. They did a bunch of tests but they still have yet to find out the cause of the problem."

"Oh, so that means that you're only a _short _stay patient." The dirty blonde retorted taking a bite out of her green salad. I shrug

"I honestly have no idea." She glares at me but I keep a calm demeanor and a small hint of a smile on my face. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and find myself face to face with the cute boy again.

"Hopefully you get to stay for a while." He smiles before he shakes his head and corrects himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that like I hope you get sick and have to stay here and stuff and and," he stuttered. "I'll just shut up now." I grin and he smiles sheepishly at me.

"So what about you guys?" I ask curiously picking at the pineapple in my Styrofoam cup but not really having an appetite. "I mean the only person I really somewhat know is Peg Leg Pete over here." I point my thumb at the boy in the wheelchair to see his expression falter and everyone at the table start laughing. "Ohmygosh" I say covering my face with my hands embarrassed. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean that, I just kinda noticed and I didn't know your name." The rest of the table is hysterical and I just shake my head. "I'm just making this all a big awkward situation I'm sorry."

Wheelchair guy just shakes his head. "No, no its no worries. It's hard not to notice and I suppose none of us have really introduced ourselves to you. I'm Leo, and I lost my leg to cancer basically." My eyes widen.

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry!" He just shrugs and says he's getting used to it. They all go around the table introducing themselves and why they were in the hospital. The dark skinned guy was Dash and he has Cystic Fibrosis, the snobby blonde is Kara and she has some sort of heart defect. The amazingly cute guy next to me is Jordi and he has Ewing Sarcoma and then the pretty petite brunette girl is Emma and she is Anorexic.

We all finish eating and are parting our separate ways when I rush up to Emma hesitantly.

"Hey Emma," I say. "I have to ask you something."


	2. Chapter 2: White Lies

**Hey guys! Here's the new chapter I promised you! A little heads up before you read: The ****_italicized_**** writing is Phoebe's thoughts. This chapter also features a topic that can be rather sensitive to some reads so take into consideration before you read. It's a pretty short chapter but a rather intense one but I won't keep you any longer! Go nuts.**

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><p>"Oh um sure Bee." Emma says, clearly taken aback by my question. I feel extremely nervous and anxious as I rock back and forth on my heels for a minute before spitting out everything into a blur of sentence.<p>

"You see I kinda noticed you at the lunch table earlier. I thought you looked really nice and really kind and helpful. I want to look like you someday." She cringes when I say that but I keep blubbering on. "I felt like 'Oh she looks like a nice person and I bet she could be a good friend to have around and I really really want you as my friend." I take a breath looking down at my feet. "I was kinda wondering if you could give me a tour." I look up hesitantly to see a small smile on her face. I smile sheepishly up at her.

"Of course Phoebe." She replies and we start making our way down the hallway. I lean in to whisper in her ear with a hint of sarcasm

"I swear I didn't ask you to do this because I forgot where my room was." She laughs and looks me in the eye for the first time. I see her eyes are laughing along with her. You see that's the weird thing with me, I've always noticed people's eyes before anything. Emma has these big brown eyes that light up when she laughs. She is actually quite pretty.

**Time skip**

After a short tour around the building we stop outside of my room on the fifth floor.

"This is the mental illness floor." Emma says carefully trying not to offend me. I shrug before turning to face her.

"Yea, there wasn't much room anywhere else so they just decided to give me a single up here until they came up with a final diagnosis." I'm astounded by how easily that lie came out. Emma believes it though.

"Well its been really nice meeting you Bee. Hopefully you can stick around for a little while longer." She grins at me before winking. "I think we'll be great friends." I give her a hug and watch her make her way past the nurses station. It isn't until I see her completely disappear around the corner that I walk into my room.

I let out a shaky breath as I enter my room and flop down onto my bed. I can already feel my medication wearing off, a heavy feeling settling in my chest. It's exhausting trying to act happy all the time, a routine I've always been so accustomed to is now nearly impossible. I sit up to stare out the window. Often times I find myself nervously look at the clock. I have no idea when I will receive another dosage of my medicine and I am too afraid to go ask. So I just decide to sit in my room and wait until Nurse Jackson comes to get me.

Its so easy just to let your mind wander you know? Especially when you're sitting in a hospital where the only noise you hear is the quiet conversations in the hallway or the shuffling of feet. I find myself now with my mind wandering. Flicks of images appear in my head but I push them away, a weight settling on my body. It isn't long until I find myself sobbing quietly with my head in my hands as the images of the terrible car accident force their way into my brain.

"Bee, are you alright?" I feel a hand on my shoulder. I immediately straighten up, wiping at my eyes furiously before plastering a smile on my face. I look up to see Jordi standing above me and I feel my cheeks grow warm.

"Oh, um hey Jordi." I laugh nervously. He gives me a look, I know I'm in trouble. I scoot over a bit and he sits down beside me crossing his legs on my bed so that he can face me. I lower my head while anxiously intertwining my fingers in my lap.

"Phoebe," he says accusingly. "What's wrong." I scrape my brain for a lie.

"I don't know." I shrug but when I look up at Jordi's face I know that he won't accept that for an answer. I sigh before looking back down at my lap. "I don't know," I say again. "I guess its just being a new place. Like, not knowing anyone or anything. A lot of stress not having anyone here I'm close to or am friends with." I swallow hard. "Not having my family around." I raise my head slightly to see Jordi attentively listening to my words, in a way it makes me feel good.

He pulls me into a hug. "Its okay Bee," He says, his arms tight around me. "You know I'm still relatively new here too." I pull away and look at him confused . He laughs. "Yep, you know Leo?" he asks.

"Peg Leg Pete?" I giggle and he nods.

"Yea, well I share a room with him and lets just say that he was not the happiest camper when I arrived."

"Really?" I respond. "Its seems like you two are pretty close." Jordi smiles.

"Not at first. He couldn't stand me and as much as I hate to say it, I couldn't stand him either. But after a while we got pretty close. He and Dash even threw a welcome party for me - which I'm sure they'll be planning one for you too soon." At this I shake my head but before I can say anything he just adds that there is nothing I can do to stop it.

We're both just sitting there smiling for a moment before Jordi looks down at his lap. "I know how hard it is not to have family here with you." I lower my head too, a knot growing in my throat. "My mom left me, I'm now an emancipated minor because of it. Its rough but I'm sure your family will come to visit you soon." He smiles at me as I try to force one back. "And when they do you'll have to introduce me to the amazing people who raised a great kid like you." I hug him once more but while I have my arms around him I wipe my eyes so that he can't see the tears pooling in them.

"Thanks Jordi." I manage to say without my voice breaking. "It means a lot to have you, Emma and even Leo be so nice to me when you hardly even know me." How true is that statement!

We sit there in silence a moment before Jordi turns to me. "So do you feel a little bit better?" I nod. "I can stay and keep you company if you want. We could watch a movie or go and find the rest of the gang to try to get your mind off your homesickness." I smile, opening my mouth to say yes.

"No, thanks. I think I'm just going to stay here and try to sleep it off." He nods but I can tell that behind his smile he's a little disappointed in my answer, as am I.

"Oh, okay. Try to get some rest Bee. I'm sure its been a busy day for you. Maybe later we can all meet up for dinner." I nod and force a tight smile as I watch him make his way out of my room then down the hallway.

Again I make sure he has completely disappeared around the corner at the end of the hallway before sulking back into my room. _God Phoebe you're so stupid. You just flat out denied an opportunity to hang out with the guy you've been making googly eyes at all day!_ I make my way over to one of my dresser drawers and fling it open. I dig around blindly until I feel the plastic handle in my hands.

I glare down at the thing while I make my way to my bathroom, hateful thoughts still attacking me the entire way there.

_You're a stupid worthless girl who doesn't know how to do anything. You know why you're here. You were there when it happened and you didn't do anything to stop it. It's all your own fault. And now you're here and you're lying to everyone. No body is going to want to be friends with you once they find out what a big fat lair you are!_

"I know!" I hiss silently under my breath, finally quieting the voices in my head. I look at my reflection with a scowl then turn my gaze to the plastic knife in my hand.

I turn it around between my hands a few times before I grit my teeth and yank up my left sleeve. There are still a bunch if little markings there. Scratches that still have dots of scabs over them or are just smooth bumps of pink skin. At the very bottom of my wrist by a big blue vain is the deepest cut, a scar has now formed over it, stitches long gone.

I poise the knife in my hand, fully conscious of what I am doing. "This one is for lying to Leo." I whisper, gently rubbing the dull blade into a spot that's a little below where my elbow and forearm connect. It's light enough not to draw blood or make a visible mark but it creates a thin white line. My breathing starts to speed up as I take in quick short breaths. I swipe the blade between my thumb and forefinger before poising it again above my wrist. My vision tunnels and all I can see is the white plastic knife and my arm.

"This one is for lying to Emma." I say, my voice a little louder. I press down a little harder on my arm. The knife leaves a visible scratch. I glance up at my reflection really quickly but I'm too scared and ashamed to look anywhere but my arm. I poise the knife once more, my heart racing.

"This one is for lying to Jordi." I mumble before pressing even harder down on my wrist. This cut is a little more forceful but it only bleeds a small dot from where I bumped into a little scab that had previously been there before. I absently swipe away the tiny bit of blood with my thumb while looking down at my wrist unsatisfied. I rake my brain for one last reason to slide the weak plastic ridges roughly against my skin. I smile grimly and press the knife even harder into my wrist right above the scar.

"This is for lying to myself." I decided forcing the knife down hard enough to make a shallow cut drawing blood. I suck in a sharp breath, yanked out of the crazed trance I'm always in before I cut. I hastily open a drawer under the sink and pull out a small pink packet of sugar.

I watch the blood on my cut bubble up for a moment, forming bigger and bigger drops until it's getting ready to slide off my wrist onto the white porcelain sink. I rip open the sugar packet with my teeth and pour some onto my cuts. I gently rub it in looking around the bathroom for some Neosporin. After failing in my search I just conclude that I left it in my room and I carefully open the door with my foot, my hands either having blood on them or sugar. I look up from my wrist for a slight second and a gasps escapes me.

Nurse Jackson!"

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><p><strong>Bum Bum! Sorry to leave you guys hanging <strong>**_again_**** but if I would've written much more this chapter would be so long. So yea, big shocker, or at least I'm hoping it is to you guys. I'm not going to talk too much about the ending because I don't want to give anything away so I will just see you guys again on Wednesday. ;) **

**P.s.: Don't forget to comment ideas below. I'd love to hear them! **


	3. Chapter 3: So I've done some research

**Hey Guys! I'm so so so sorry I didn't post Wednesday like I said I would. I'm going through a lot of personal stuff lately and I haven't had time to post. I promise that will change though! I already have the next two or three chapters prewritten so I should just be able to post them without any trouble or extra time for editing. Like I may have said, I'm going to try and post new chapters on Mondays and Wednesdays so make sure you check back on those days! Enough rambling, without further a-do I present to you guys (drum roll please.): Chapter three: "So I've done some research."**

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><p>Nurse Jackson's glance snaps up from me calling her name. I can see the two little Dixie Cups she's just placed on my bed side table but I have bigger problems then racing to down my drugs. I quickly yank down my sleeve, praying to God that the blood doesn't go through, this is my favorite sweater. Oh and that Nurse Jackson doesn't notice. I'm too late though, Nurse Jackson has already seen my arm and she raises slowly from her bent over position by my bed side table.<p>

"Phoebe Johnson." She scolds marching over. I bite my lip and cross my arms behind me.

"I swear it's not what it looks like!" I exclaim but she shoots me an accusing look obviously knowing the truth.

"Oh yea?" She says sarcastically "I would _love_ to hear what supposedly did happen."

"I, um scratched it on the door frame." I struggle and she just cocks her head at me.

"Mhmm." She mumbles "Is that why there is a plastic knife on your sink?" My cheeks begin to burn. She extends her hand palm faced up and waggles her fingers. "Let me see."

"It's not even that big of a-" I begin

"Eh," she cuts me off.

"It's not that ba-" I try again.

"Eh." She says shooting me a look.

"But Nurse Jack-" Now it's just a battle to get a full sentence out.

"Eh." I'm beyond frustrated at this point.

"Ugh!" I groan throwing my head back dramatically.

"Ugh!" She mimics me before giving me a cold hard stare. "Let me see it." I let out something between a groan and a whine and slowly extend my arm to her.

Regardless of the fight I put up with her, her touch is very gentle and tender when she pulls up my sleeve. Her face is almost comical when she sees it, confusion and her precious scorn mixing together.

"What is this?" She asks referring to the small crystal grains sticking to my arm.

"Sugar." I shrug. She shakes her head and let's out a small scoff.

"Oh, and what do you think that's going to do for you Hun?" I lower my head.

"Makes the blood clot." I mumble. She clicks her tongue and marches out of my room. When she notices I'm not behind her she motions for me to follow and I rush to catch up.

"Where are we going?" I asked as soon as I was a safe distance behind her. I still have to skip a little to keep up with her fast pace.

"To clean you up." She snatches two Dixie Cups off a nearby cart and hands them to me. I look at them, my eyes bugging out of my head. Sensing my bewilderment she projects over her shoulder, "Its the same exact stuff. Just swallow it and pick up the pace."

I'm about to ask what she's going to do with the pills in my room but her intimidating demeanor keeps me from doing so. I quickly swallow the three pills from one cup and drink the water in the other. I grimace as the hard lumps slowly crawl down my throat but as soon as they're gone I shuffle to be behind her again. Maybe if she forgets the ones in my room I can stock hoard them for another time.

Nurse Jackson leads me to a sectioned off wash room. It's sort of like a supply closet but with a sink. She washes my arm silently.

"You know I could have done this myself." I intone. She doesn't say anything in turn so I just watch quietly as she addresses my cuts.

When she's finished we walk out and I head towards my room.

"Where do you think you're going sweet pea?" She asks. I whip around and sneer at her.

"My room."

"Oh no you're not. The last thing anyone needs right now is for you to be left alone." She objects. Dang, could you be anymore obvious with your mistrust Nurse J?

"So what? Are you going to have me follow you around for the rest of the day making friendship bracelets and icing cookies?" I scoff.

"Ha. I wish." She replies. "But no. I actually have someone I want you to meet." She smiles deviously at me.

"Oh boy." I groan. We make our way towards the unknown destination.

**Time skip.**

"Emma?" I spit out as we walk into a cute room with blue and green tissue paper flowers hanging from the ceiling

"Oh! Hey Bee." She says looking up from a notebook she had been writing in.

"I see you two have already met." Nurse Jackson observes.

"Oh yea. Leo introduced us at lunch." Emma comments cheerfully. I plaster on a smile to match hers.

"Ohhh." Nurse Jackson coos nudging me. I let out a dry laugh. "So I'm guessing she's met the whole crew then." She directs toward Emma.

"Yep, Dash and Jordi are out planning something right now." Emma giggles before turning towards me. "I might be scared if I were you. Those boys are never up to any good."

"Isn't that right." Nurse Jackson retaliates rolling her eyes. "Miss Emma I was wondering if you would do me a favor and babysit our new friend Bee here for a little while. It seems as though she's gotten herself into a little trouble of her own." I shoot a glare at Nurse Jackson before giggling awkwardly. Emma smiles kindly at me.

"Of course Nurse Jackson. I was actually about to go try to find her. I need someone to watch a movie with anyway." Emma answers. Nurse Jackson looks me sternly in the eye before leaving.

"Be. Good." I roll my eyes before jumping into bed with Emma.

"So what movie are we going to watch?" I ask.

"Actually," she drags out the word. "We have other plans."

"What do you mean 'other plans'?" I question remembering what she said earlier about Jordi and Dash planning something. She grins at me before grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door.

**Time skip.**

"Hey boys." Emma trills. We've come to a room that looks a lot like a class room with tables, chairs, and a whiteboard up front. Dash and Jordi are sitting at a table together with open binders. They both jump when they hear Emma's voice but don't steal their glances away from whatever they were looking at.

"Dude Emma!" Dash exclaims. "We're busy here!" Emma clears her throat.

"Um I brought a friend with me." Jordi and Dash glance up. When they see me they are scrambling to push papers into their binders or under them.

"Oh! Hey Bee." Jordi pants, a huge grin on his face. I let out a genuine laugh unlike the others I had to fake in Nurse Jackson's presence.

"You guys," I say pointing at them. "are the definition of sketchy." Dash and Emma laugh but Jordi is still just beaming at me. I blush, begging myself not to mess this up.

"You'll get used to it eventually." Emma whispers to me. We spend the rest of the time probing the boys on what they are planning until the blonde chick I remember as Kara comes in. She shoots me a nasty look.

"Ew. Who invited New Girl?" She snorts. I lower my gaze. She's just trying to make me miserable isn't she? I have a feeling Emma can sense my deflation because she speaks up.

"You know Kara, when you first got here all you wore were those hideous hospital gowns. At least Phoebe has a decent sense of style." Everyone's gaze turns to my pink sweater I'm wearing. I watch smugly as Kara's jaw drops and the boys howl with laughter. Jordi turns to me. Is my heart still beating? I honestly don't even know at this point.

"Emma's never really stuck up for anyone like that before." He says quietly. I feel my heart swell and my cheeks begin to warm. God I hate when that happens, it's so obvious! "You should consider yourself lucky to have a girl like her as your friend." Woah. It's almost like I hear a pang of longing in his voice. I glance at Emma who is looking at us with an almost sad face. Once I catch her eye a switch flips and she smiles at me. Before I can dwell too much on what their relationship might be another voice speaks up.

"Kara maybe instead of being your regular horror you could be a little more accepting of our new friend." Dash interjects. Kara rolls her eyes and I finally scavenger up enough courage to shoot her a glare. She shoots one right back at me and I shrink away. She must have seen my glare as a challenge because she begins to rant.

"You know I've done some research." She sneers at me. This can't be good. "Never in the history of Ocean Park Hospital has a patient been admitted into the residential wing without a definite diagnosis." The room goes quiet. It seems the only sound is the rapid beating of my heart in my ears. "So tell us Phoebe. Why are you here?" I swallow hard.

"I told you." I say my voice shaking a little bit. "I don't know." I pause debating on whether I want to continue or not but everyone's looking at me so I have to say something!

Instead I feel a lump grow in my throat and my eyes sting with embarrassment. I push away from the table and rush out of the room. Emma chases after me.

"Bee! Wait up!" She yells.

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><p><strong>I've decided, obviously, to create some tension between Kara and Bee. I'll give you guys a little insight though by saying that all of that tension will be explained in the next chapter which is entitled "Fess up." Personally it is one of my favorite chapters so I can't wait to share it with all of you! Don't forget to comment and fav! <strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Fess Up

**Late! Again! I know I know! But I made sure this chapter was super long and really exciting so hopefully that makes up for it! Also I WILL NOT BE POSTING A NEW CHAPTER WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 10! I have a lot to do that day and with exams coming up next week I will not be able to post a whole lot but once I am on break I can post a lot more often! Now go on! I know how badly you've been wanting to read this new chapter, sorry to keep you waiting!**

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><p>I turn the corner and lean against the wall, waiting for Emma to catch up. She almost passes me by but skids to a stop when she notices that I had stopped.<p>

"Bee I'm sorry about Kara. Don't take it too personally." She tries to console me. I shake my head.

"What's her problem with me?" I hiss.

"She's probably just mad because everyone's attention isn't on her for once." I huff and march down the hallway again, Emma walking beside me. After a few random turns I stop to face her.

"I have no idea where I'm going." I say bluntly. I've just been wandering around as a form of pacing and, of course, a way to get away from Kara. Emma giggles.

"It's kind of obvious." I sigh.

"Can we go somewhere?" I ask. I hate this stupid hospital and the stupid doctors and that stupid nurse and stupid Kara. I just want to leave.

"Let's go find Leo. He should be back by now." She says after a moment of thought. I just nod following in suit behind her.

**Time skip.**

We walk up to a room that's in the cancer wing. There is yellow and black paint on the windows of a drawing that says _The Swamp_ in big graffiti letters. The door's wide open but Emma still knocks on the frame before entering.

"Hey Leo." She smiles and Leo looks up from what he was doing. When he sees me he shoves everything under his bed sheet just like what Jordi and Dash had done earlier.

"Hey Emma. What's up Bee?" He says coolly like nothing happened.

"I don't know, why don't _you_ tell _me_. Seems as though everyone's trying to hide something from me." Leo smiles and turns toward Emma.

"You didn't tell her?" He asks glancing my way. Emma smiles.

"Nope. You know I always keep my promises." I turn to face her abruptly.

"Wait! Emma! You know what's going on?" I exclaim. Emma and Leo laugh. "This isn't funny! You guys are freaking me out!" I say but by now I can't contain my laughter.

"Sorry Bee but it's a secret for now. You'll find out later." Leo states. I roll my eyes in return. "So what brings you girls here?" Leo asks.

"Kara's being a bitch again. Nurse Jackson put me in charge of Bee so I decided we'd come see you." Emma replies with a small smile. I look between the two of them. Leo's looking at Emma the same way Liam Hemsworth looks at Jennifer Lawrence in the new Hunger Games movie and Emma's sneaking glances at him too. I gasp.

"Omg! You guys are dating!" I squeal grabbing Emma's hands and jumping up and down. She giggles.

"We might be." Leo says smiling. I let go of Emma.

"That is so cute." I beam. Emma's blushing a little but Leo raises his mouth up into a half smile.

"Thanks Bee." Emma says before turning back to Leo. "Kara has just been jumping Phoebe's case all day today!" Leo rolls his eyes.

"Kara," a voice interjects and we all turn around. There's a tall tan guy with dark hair standing behind us. "You guys' seen her?"

"She's with Dash and Jordi in the meeting room." Emma replies. The boy's gaze drifts to me and he gives me a once over before speaking with a newly appeared charm.

"New girl?" He says with a flirtatious smile. I shoot one back.

"You got it." He nods and looks me over one more time.

"Cute." He says before waltzing down the hall. I turn back around to Emma and Leo who are both gaping at me.

"What?" I shrug.

"You are just trying to rattle the bear's cage aren't you?" Leo asks.

"What are you talking about?" I reply.

"Hunter and Kara are like a thing." He says back.

"Oh shit." I cringe before pointing at the both of them. "If anyone asks, he made the first move." They both nod. Emma's phone beeps and she pulls it out.

"Hey it's Dash. They are wanting us to go get dinner with then." She reads from the screen.

"Alright. Can you guys hand me my crutches?" Leo responds. Emma and I grab his crutches and help him out of his chair. We all leave his room and head down to the cafeteria.

**Time skip**

Oh my God. I swear if Kara shoots me one more dirty look I'm going to stab her with my fork. I'm sitting in between Jordi and Emma with Kara and her boy toy, Hunter, sitting straight across from us. I haven't really touched much of my dinner when Nurse Jackson comes over.

"Miss Bee it's time for your appointment." She says. I say goodbye to everyone at the table and shoot Kara one last glare before I follow Nurse Jackson out of the cafeteria. As soon as the cafés door closes behind us Nurse Jackson turns to me.

"Empty your pockets." She says calmly.

"What? Why?" I start.

"After today's incident we need to be sure that you're not going to pull that same stunt again." I groan before reluctantly turning my pockets inside out.

"See? Nothing. Do you want to pat me down to or should I just follow the warden back to jail." I scowl.

"You're a snarky one. I would guess you and Kara get along like two peas in a pod." She continues as we walk towards Dr. Hearts office.

"More like a cat and a dog trapped in a bag." I mutter.

"Okay. Kara can be a little rough around the edges but so can you." She comments.

"Not normally I'm not." I argue. "I was actually voted Best Personality and Most Social back at school." Nurse Jackson smiles at me.

"I bet that was a special accomplishment for you."

"Yeah it was." Is all I can manage to say. We stand outside of a door with a little metal engraving beside it that says _Doctor Michelle Heart. Head Pediatric Psychiatrist._

"You ready Hun?" Nurse Jackson asks. I shrug.

"No, but I have to face my demons at some point I guess." Nurse Jackson pulls me into a hug. Before opening the door and ushering me in.

"You'll do fine sweet pea."

**Kara's POV**

"I hate her." I remark as soon as Nurse Jackson drags that little b word out of the cafeteria. Emma shoots me one of her looks.

"What a coincidence!" She says sarcastically. "She hates you too." I roll my eyes. Go figure Little Miss Diet Pill would be so buddy buddy with Edna Scissorhands. Oh yea, I know about that but we'll get to it later.

"Hunter agrees with me. She's a bitch." I snark at Emma.

"No I don't. New Girl seems pretty cool." I turn to him dropping my jaw.

"You're kidding right?" I'm addressing the whole table now. "She's a total fake! Like seriously. Who doesn't know why they're in a hospital? Like I'm pretty sure that it's illegal or something."

"I seriously doubt that Kara." Diet Pill retorts. I ignore her comment.

"She's a total shade tree. I bet she has something to hide. Something she's not telling us." I emphasize towards them.

"Bee's a really sweet girl. I doubt she has anything to hide. Kara you need to lay off of her. You really hurt her feelings earlier." Leo says. Go figure. He's always playing to Emma's side. I lull my head around in a slow circle.

"Its not my fault the newbie can't handle my personality."

"Look Kara. We all remember our first days here. It was scary. We need to ALL be accepting of Phoebe and make her feel welcome. So what if we don't know why she's here? There's a lot of stuff we still don't know about her but hey! What do you expect when you've only really talked to a person for an hour tops." Jordi speaks up.

"Jordis right yo. Besides we will plenty of time to get to know our girl Bee tomorrow night." Dash says and the whole table nods.

"Well you losers enjoy the rest of your dinner. I'm going to go snooping." I push away from the table. "Are you coming Hunter?" He shrugs.

"Well someone needs to keep you out of trouble."

**Time skip**.

I walk towards the nurses station with Hunter in tow behind me.

"Hey Britt." I gush sliding up to the counter. Brittany doesn't even look up from her computer.

"What do you want Kara?" She asks dryly.

"Oh nothing really. I'm just looking for a girl named Phoebe Johnson. She's new. Do you have any idea where she is?" Brittany types in her computer a little before addressing me.

"She has an appointment." She responds.

"Oh darn Hunter!" I exclaim raising my eyes at him gesturing for him to play along. "We must've missed her! Britt do you mind giving us her room number? We have a welcome gift we wanted to give her but I suppose we could just drop it off in her room." Brittany finally looks up at me suspiciously.

"Oh yea? Where is it then?"

"We were just about to swing by the gift shop to pick it up actually." Hunter says quickly whipping out a twenty. Brittany looks are us warily before glancing down at her screen.

"Room 513. 5th floor." She says with a sigh. "Kara if you pull _anything _Nurse Jackson, Kenji and I will have your head."

"Me? Cause trouble? Never!" I utter walking away.

"I'm serious Kara!" Brittany shouts after me. I shoot her a tight smile before grabbing Hunter's hand and racing around the corner.

**Time switch**.

"Does this chick seriously only wear sweaters?" I mumble digging through her drawers. "Have you found anything?" I say over my shoulder.

"Not really just a bunch of family photos." I slam the drawer shut and stroll over to where Hunter is kneeling beside Phoebe's bedside table. I look over his shoulder at a stack of pictures that he is holding. There's a mom with a short blonde bob and bright blue eyes and a dad that has tan skin with dark hair and brown eyes. Its obvious Phoebe favors her mom. Theres another girl there too. She favors the dad's looks with long auburn hair and dark mysterious eyes. She looks just about Phoebe's age, maybe a little older but its obvious they are related.

"Put those back and let's find something of _actual_ substance." Hunter takes one last lingering glance at the photos before reluctantly sliding them back into a drawer. I turn to face her bed and begin tossing back the covers one by one. Nothing. I feel under the pillows, one by one. Again nothing. Its when I lift up the very last pillow that I feel a heavy weight dragging it down.

"Jackpot." I exclaim slowly pulling out a slick black picture frame. Hunter walks towards me. In the picture frame was a news article from about two weeks ago with a picture I recognized from the stack Hunter had earlier.

"_Family Suffers from Fatal Accident off of the 2-75 Highway." _Hunter reads from behind me, his breath warm on the back of my neck. "_15 year old Claire Johnson was declared dead at the scene. Mother, Anne (Holmes) Johnson was ejected from the drivers seat when a drunk driver collided into the driver's side of the car. Her body along with those of her husband Danny Johnson and other daughter Phoebe Johnson were transported to California State Hospital directly from the scene._" His voice shrinks progressively before I have to take over reading the article.

"_Update: Father Danny Johnson passed away in the ambulance to California State Hospital. Mother Anne Johnson remains in critical condition while their surviving 15 year old daughter Phoebe was treated with minor bumps and bruises and a couple of broken ribs. She has been released into the custody of her aunt until her mother recovers." _We are both just standing there with mouths wide open. I quietly place the picture frame back where I found it.

"Wow." Hunter says when I turn back around. I just nod. I can feel Hunter recoil before he speaks up again. "I need to call my mom." He rushes out of the room leaving me standing there alone.

**Time skip**

"God Damnit." I hear Phoebe's voice say before there is a bang. I peek my head around the corner before strolling casually her way.

"Hey Bee," I bait. She is hopping on one foot with a pained look on her face but she still manages to shoot me a glare. She gently places her foot back on the ground. She crosses her arms in front of her.

"What do you want Kara?" I give her an innocent look.

"No need to be so harsh! I'm just checking in on you." Her expressions softens. "How was your appointment with Dr. Heart?"

"How did you know I was in there?" She shoots back at me quickly. I chuckle.

"Awe, Bee! You see this is the thing you will have to eventually have to learn about me. I'm a very _curious_ person. I have _ways_ to find things out." Her eyes widen, I can tell she is desperately trying to hide her anxieties. "Like this-" I say reaching out to grab her left arm, yanking at her sleeve. She lets out a gasp. All over her arm are little markings, even a band aid that I can recognize came from the hospital. "Cutter. Just like I suspected." I tisked. She pulls back her arm, yanks down her sleeve, and looks around frantically.

"How did you know?" She hissed in a hushed tone to me.

"I told you, I have my ways." I don't bother lower my voice, maybe even increasing my volume just to faze her. She gives me an accusing look and I roll my eyes. "You always wear long sleeve for one, plus you're constantly tugging them down. You should really try to be less obvious." She instinctively pulls down her sleeve at my remark. "I also know why you're here." I add. She straightens up.

"Oh really? I'd love to know considering I haven't heard the news yet myself." Her tone is sarcastic but there's obviously an edge, rather it be from her nerves, or just her dislike for me.

"Does the name Danny Johnson ring a bell? Maybe Claire Johnson?" Her expression looks like someone just stabbed her. "I mean I think I read an article about them a couple weeks ago in the newspaper. Died in a car accident the two of them. So tragic." I smirk at her. "I can't imagine having to deal with the crippling grief any of the survivors may be facing. Especially if they had only received some _minor bumps and bruises." _

"No," She pleads. "just stop!" She is shaking, tears are pooling in her eyes. Maybe I took this a step too far. Before I can speak up once more Phoebe addresses me in a quiet voice. "Have you told anyone yet?" I feel my heart seize up a little, nervous it is acting up. I realize eventually that its just my own guilt.

"No." I lie. She lets out a breath. "I don't know why you care."

"It's," she hesitates. "It's hard to explain. Please just promise me you won't tell anyone Kara." I scoff.

"No way!" I exclaim.

"Kara please!" I look at her a moment. Her eyes are red and her face was blotchy. I have already done my job in getting to her. No need to take it any farther. Despite what others may tell you, I actually do have _some_ mercy.

"Fine." Phoebe sighs.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She cries approaching me with her arms up into an embrace. I step away.

"Woah. Don't thank me yet New Girl. You're going to admit to everyone why you're really here," her mouth pops open. "_By _tommorow. Or else I'll do it myself." She stares at blankly. I shrug before turning and walking away.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to comment and follow below! I love reading what you guys have to say! Special shout out to CrushedSoul12 ! You rock <strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Wake Up Call

**Hey Guys! Guess what? I actually published a chapter on time! Whoo! I actually wrote this weeks chapters pretty quickly but they are some of my favorites, this one especially. It kinda plays off the sweet and innocent romance between Leo and Emma and I just love it so much! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I do! **

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><p><strong>Leo's POV<strong>

Emma, Jordi, Dash, and I are walking through the 5th floor hallways looking around desperately.

"Where could that girl be?" Dash exclaims. "Emma didn't you say her room was down this way?" Emma pops her head out of the room she was just peeking in and points down the hall.

"Yea, it should be right down there." We all turn our eyes to where Emma is pointing and we see Nurse Jackson marching out of a room. She makes eye contact with me - go figure - before starting towards us. I whisper for everyone to stand together as she comes over to address us.

"Leo, what are you all doing up here?" She asks irritably.

"We're looking for Bee." I explain before pointing to the room she had just came from. "Is she in there?" Nurse Jackson hesitates a moment before answering.

"Yes. She's in there." She sighs. "I've been trying to wake her up for the past twenty minutes. In fact I was just on my way to get the ice water." I grimace, remembering the countless times Nurse J has dumped freezing water on my head.

"Let us try!" Jordi pipes up. "I bet we could get her up." I grin at Nurse Jackson and she gives us all stern looks.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." She say carefully. "She had a rough night last night, I don't really know if she's in the mood for visitors."

"Well too bad, we have a big day planned for her today." Dash argues. I give him a look before turning to Nurse Jackson charmingly.

"I'm sorry that she had a rough night. Hopefully we can help put her in a better mood today though." Nurse Jackson still looks apprehensive. I speak up once more with a hint of sarcasm. "Besides, I'm sure anything's better than the ice water."

She looks at us, we're not much to look at, but she still stares us down. Finally she sighs before motioning us to follow her into Phoebe's room. "I hope you kids have a plan." She says behind her. I grin slyly at my friends.

"I'm sure we can come up with something." I respond.

**Time Skip**

"Miss Bee, this is the last time I'm going to tell you." Nurse Jackson scorns. We are all standing in Phoebe's room. Phoebe has completely camouflaged herself in her plain sheets. The only thing I can see of her besides the outline of her body beneath the blankets is a single strand of blonde hair that has escaped the mound of pillows she has constructed over her head.

"It's time to get up." Nurse Jackson crosses her arms but its not like Phoebe can see her. There's a groan from Bee's bed. Nurse J rolls her eyes before nodding to me and stomping out of the room.

I motion to Emma who holds a hand up to her mouth, trying to contain her giggles. I roll my eyes but I can't hold back my own smile. Emma points to Jordi, whose eyes widen in turn. I nod to him. I don't know how much longer I can take this before I burst out laughing.

"Alright Phoebe." Jordi says loudly. "You asked for it!" We all raise the pillows we had snatched from various vacant rooms and bring them down onto Bee with mumbled thuds. She fumbles with her blanket fort before finally escaping from its grasp. I'm laughing so hard my side hurts.

"Guys!" Phoebe exclaims. She tries to glare at us but one last thump on the head from Emma makes her tough exterior crumble and she's laughing with us. We all catch our breath and the room quiets. "I hate you guys." Phoebe jokes shaking her head. Jordi lets out a small chuckle.

"No you don't." He says. Bee looks over towards him and they exchange shy smiles. I glance at Emma with the same look on my face but she is looking painfully at Jordi and Bee. There's a pain in my chest, a little bit of jealousy for Jordi still lingering in my system, but Emma's mine now. Besides he obviously has a thing for Bee.

Bee breaks her eyes away from Jordi, giving us all a small smile. "Well I appreciate the wake up call but I'm going to try to go back to sleep." She says.

"Are you kidding me yo?" Dash blurts out. Phoebe shrugs, raising her eyebrows questioningly.

"There is no way we're letting you go back to sleep." Emma says. "We have a big day planned and you've already put us behind schedule."

"No one said you guys needed me to carry on with your day." Bee says. It almost seems like there's a pang of sadness in her voice. Jordi begins to laugh and so do I.

"She's kidding right?" I address the rest of the crew. "Jordi, her." Jordi and Dash move in on Bee, each of them taking one of her arms dragging her out of bed.

"Are you serious right now?" Phoebe groans.

"Does it look like we're kidding?" Emma giggles as we all race out of Phoebe's room.

"Wait!" Bee laughs but there's urgency in her voice. "I'm not dressed!"

"You had your chance!" Dash jibes pulling her alongside him.

"I'm in my pjs!" She cries.

"You're also _in a hospital_." I say. "Who are you trying to impress?" She blushes and I know she's referring to Jordi.

"I'll take you back to your room after breakfast to get changed." Emma consoles with a kind smile on her face.

"That's if the cafeteria's even open for breakfast this late." Dash interjects.

"It's only 9:30 Dash." I laugh. "I'm sure its still open." We walk into the service elevator and Bee shakes the boys off her arms.

"You guys can go on without me, I'm not that hungry." She says with a shrug. I roll my eyes.

"Shut up Bee. You're coming with us. I doubt Jordi cares about how messed up your hair is right now." Her jaw drops and she smacks me hard on the arm before giggling awkwardly. The elevator dings and the doors creak open.

"I swear I am so going to get you for that comment." She hisses quietly beside me. I shake my head with a coy smile on my face. I turn to Emma.

"Young Love, isn't it adorable?" I say with an exaggerated sigh. Emma giggles and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. Bee rolls her eyes. I can tell she debating on staying behind with us or rushing to catch up to Jordi and Dash.

"Go on stupid. Go catch up to lover boy." I give her a gentle shove on the back.

"God Leo," She says shaking her head. "Are you always this blunt?"

"Yes." Emma and I reply at the same time. We all laugh before Phoebe races up beside Jordi. He gives her a small smile as Bee tries to brush her hair out with her fingers. I smile before reaching down to intertwine Emma's fingers in my own

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><p><strong>Super cute right? I can't stop smiling after reading this chapter! I have exams this week so don't be surprised if Wednesday's chapter accidentally gets bumped to Thursday. Wish me luck, I'm definitely going to need it! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Prepare for Phase One

**Hey Guys! Sorry for late post this week has been crazy between exams and getting ready for Christmas. Thank you all for your continued support and a special shout out to **demi-wolf3T ! **Your comment made my day and thanks to you I actually studied for my exams instead of spending even more time on this website! Without further stalling here is Chapter Six! Its a short one but I promise that now I'm on winter break I will post more often! **

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><p><strong>Phoebe's POV<strong>

"I still can't believe you guys dragged me down here in my pjs." I mumble as I poke at the eggs on my plate.

"Well suck it up and believe it." Leo retorts nudging me on the shoulder. I roll my eyes and groan. I glance over at Emma who's not eating at her food either. I try to think of a way to subtly indicate I'm done and ready to go back to my room.

"Um, Emma. I'm out of water. Do you want to go up with me to get some more?" I can tell she's itching to ditch the table too when she nods and walks up to an empty serving counter with me.

"So when can we get out of here?" I ask nervously.

"Whenever you're done." She shrugs.

"I'm done." I reply quickly. Emma jumps at my eagerness. "I'm sorry. I just really want to get into some different clothes." I feel my cheeks warming.

"No problem. Let's go back to the table and give a heads up to the guys." She says kindly. We walk back to the table.

"Bee, and I are going to head off." Emma says picking up her tray.

"You've hardly ate anything." Leo mumbles giving Emma a look.

"I'm fine Leo." She replies rubbing his bald head tenderly. I laugh and shake my head. "So where do you want to meet?" She directs to the rest of the table.

"Same place as we talked about. Get ready for phase one to begin!" Dash says smacking the table excitedly.

"Alright then." Emma grins at me. My face must be comical because everyone starts laughing.

"This is going to be good." Jordi chuckles. I shoot them all suspicious looks before following Emma out of the Cafeteria.

**Time Skip**

I'm nervously chatting with Emma as we make our way to my room. "Why won't you tell me what you guys are planing?" I exclaim shaking her playfully.

"I promised!" She laughs.

"I don't react well to surprises!" I laugh too.

"Makes sense." A voice that's not Emma's speaks up. Kara is leaning against the door frame to my room. Emma steps protectively in front of me.

"What do you want Kara?" She asks coldly.

"Chill Diet Pill." Kara says raising her arms defensively. "I'm just here to talk to Bee."

"You don't even have to look at her if you don't want to, much less talk to her. Just tell me and I'll get Nurse Brittany to take care of her." Emma whispers turning to face me.

Kara is giving me an evil look as she tugs at her sleeves exaggeratedly. I swallow hard. "It's fine Emma just give us a sec." I march up to Kara and drag her aside.

"What?" I hiss. "You have 30 seconds."

"I don't have much to say, so save your drama." Kara snaps back. "Just remember our deal."

"It's not exactly something I can forget." I scoff "It's just a matter of the right place and the right-"

"Save it. You have plenty of opportunities to tell them today, they aren't going to leave your side anytime soon. And believe me when I say I already have _my _story picked out." My eyes narrow at her hatefully and she gives me another sneer before gesturing towards Emma. "Seems as though my 30 seconds are up. See you soon _Claire_." She puts her hands over her mouth. "Oops. I mean Phoebe." She saunters off leaving me standing there stunned.

I hear Emma rushing up to me. "Bee are you okay?" She asks waving a hand in front of my face. I snap out of the daze I was in.

"Yea, totally." I mumble. "C'mon help me pick out something to wear."

**Time skip**

"Are you sure I look okay?" I whine following Emma blindly. She's put a blindfold on me and I can't see anything.

"You look fine now come on! Leo's blowing up my phone." I walk forward and bump into yet another wall.

"Emma." I moan pathetically. She laughs and spins me around a couple of times. I hear her begin to walk away.

"You know," I say extending my arms out in front of me. "this would go a lot faster if you just held my hand or something."

"Yea but it wouldn't be as funny." An arm that's too big to be Emma's wraps itself around my waist.

"Who is this?" I jump, reaching out to touch the person's face.

"Jordi." It says, his laughter creating warm breath on my hands. I smile but look around blindly.

"Emma are we here? Can I take this off?" I beg.

"No. This is way too funny." Dash's voice says. I reach up to snatch the blindfold off my face but Jordi grabs my hand.

"Uh, uh." He scolds. I can hear the smile in his voice. "We aren't there yet. I just thought you'd want a helping hand, or arm in this case." I smile and lean into him. His arm tightens around me and we make our way even farther down the hall.

**Time Skip**

"Alright, one, two, three!" Jordi says his hands whipping of my blindfold.

"Ho-ly Cow." I gasp looking around. "Where are we?"

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><p><strong>Hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm thinking about writing a special Christmas chapter and posting it on Christmas! Comment below if you think it is a good idea or not or any other suggestions you have for me! Lots of Love and Happy Holidays - Britt <strong>


	7. Chapter 7: A Midsummer Night's Stream

**Hey Guys! Okay so I'm going to be posting a lot these next few days trying to catch this story up enough to write a Christmas Chapter so keep checking back for more updates! I hope you all are enjoying your winter breaks, I know I am. Tommorow my sister and I are going to go voulenteer at food bank and help give back to our community! Make sure this holiday you are all thankful for the wonderful gifts in the world (I'm not talking Iphone 6s people!) and to enjoy anytime you get with your family! Without further hesitation, here's chapter seven!**

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><p><strong>Phoebe's POV<strong>

We are standing on a smooth concrete path that weaves around the outside of the hospital. I turn my head to see the glass door we had just exited from and watch the daily life of the staff and patients continue where as I feel as though I've been transported to another world. I slowly turn back around, a cool breeze whipping my hair behind me. Straight ahead of me is a plunging valley and the morning fog is slowly creeping up into the glowing morning sky.

"It's so beautiful." I smile towards my friends who have been watching me take the scene in. Leo grins at me.

"You haven't seen anything yet." He replies before wheeling down the pathway with Emma and Dash beside him. Jordi walks slowly over to me. _Act cool. Act cool. _

"Pretty incredible huh?" He states. I just nod and we both follow casually behind the rest of the group. "Sometimes I come out here when I'm stressed to play my guitar. You'd be surprised at how well of listeners the birds are." I chuckle and give him a small smile.

"I didn't know you played." I gush. He nods, giving me a smile in return. I sigh, a small knot growing in the back of my throat. "A good friend of mine used to play." I say quietly.

"Oh really?" Jordi replies.

"Yeah. We used to always sing together. She'd play guitar and I'd play piano. My parents used to watch and sing along." I cringe at the painful memory of Claire and her ruby red guitar but Jordi's smile lightens the mood a little. I don't want him to see me struggling so I just put on another happy face.

"You know maybe one day we can play together. I mean you can't really move a piano outside very easily but I'm sure we could make it work." He stutters nervously.

"I'd like that a lot Jordi." I answer with a laugh. His cheeks turn a little pink but I think it's cute that he's a little nervous. I'm too busy flirting with Jordi that I completely lose sight of Leo, Emma, and Dash. I turn to Jordi wide eyed. "Where'd they go?" I ask anxiously but I find Jordi is no longer behind me either. "Guys?" I shout panic-ally. I turn in circles trying to find them. "Gu-" I start again but something cold nails me in the back splattering water all over me. I whip around to find Emma and Jordi laughing behind a bush.

"Bee! Behind you!" Jordi exclaims between bursts of laughter. I'm too late though, another water balloon hits me in the neck. I turn around to face Leo and Dash, Leo's wheelchair filled high with water balloons. I hold up my hands pathetically.

"Ekk! No more! No more!" I squeal but my own giggles find their way out. Someone clears their throat behind me and I find Jordi squeezing a balloon above my head. Just before the thing pops I jump knocking the balloon towards him and it pops in the air, soaking Jordi.

"Hey!" He cries. "I thought we were supposed to be friends!"

"Yea, that was before you fired a latex sphere filled with H20 at me!" I shout.

"Whoa, Emma can we get a dictionary over here? Bee is getting technical on us." Dash jokes putting an arm around me.

"Don't! Even think about it Dash!" I say swiping at the balloon he has in his other hand. He takes off down the path that leads into the Valley and I follow in suit. We reach the bottom where a small stream bubbles along in front of us. I stop and gawk at the sight before me. I hear the squeak of Leos breaks behind me and friends gather on both sides of me.

This place gives me a sort of peace that I haven't felt since the accident, a feeling of okay-ness. It reminds me of lazy days Claire and I used to spend at our Grandmother's following her own stream to a private swimming hole on her property. We'd stay there until sun down just sun bathing and jumping off the dock, we were all the company each other needed. Often times our dad would have to drive the four wheeler down to pick us up and bring us back to the house because it was too dark to trek through the woods alone.

We would come home to my mother and grandmother making chicken and corn on the grill, my favorite. To this day it is one of my favorite memories I've shared with my family. I sigh in remembrance of it.

"Thanks you guys." I acknowledge quietly, the three words hardly enough to express the gratitude I feel towards their action of returning this little piece of me to, well, me.

"Don't thank us yet." Emma giggles. "The fun is just beginning."

"I'll race you guys to the top." Leo says cockily. I look between him and the steep path skeptically but nevertheless he takes off slowly climbing the hill. Emma and Dash shrug before chasing after him but Jordi and I make our way leisurely behind them chatting more about music, me crushing harder and harder.

After getting changed into dry clothes I meet up with everyone in the main lobby. Everyone is there but Jordi. There's a little pang of sadness at his absence but I find my self laughing at how badly I'm crushing. I walk up next to Emma who smiles broadly at me.

"Now that bee's here we go." She says to the guys.

"Go where?" I ask scrunching my eyebrows and following them outside to where a sleek black car is waiting.

"We're just going into town for a few things." Leo says over his shoulder. I swallow hard as they all get into the car. I stand frozen with my hand on the door handle as everyone stares at me. My breath begins to pick up and I feel like I'm hyperventilating. There's a hand on back and I quickly turn around to find Jordi.

He looks at me carefully making sure I'm okay before facing the people in the car. "You know what guys?" He asks not exactly expecting an answer. "I think Bee and I will hang out here for a little bit. Besides don't you all need to pick up that _thing._"

"What thing?" Dash asks. Jordi glares at him.

"You know. _The thing."_ Jordi urged.

"Oh yea, yea I know what you're talking about Jordi!" Emma exclaims. "I'll make sure Leo picks it up." We watch as Dash pulls the car away and Jordi walks me back inside.

"Are you okay?" He asks after a prolonged silence.

"Yea, I guess." I sigh. We take a few more steps.

"What, what happened back there Bee." He stammers. I look around cautiously. You know I wasn't really going to answer his question at first, I was going to lie like I have been this entire time but there comes a point when you just to need open up and be honest with someone.

"Let's go to my room and talk." I mumble not really meeting his eyes. I can not believe what I'm about to do, but somehow this whole situation is unraveling right before my eyes. There's nothing I can do to stop it.

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><p><strong>Thank you all again for your continued love and support! A special shout-out to <strong>PrincessHeartStar! **I'm still looking for ideas for the Christmas chapter and also many more chapters to come! If any of you guys have suggestions for new characters or anything you just want to see happen in this Fanfic just comment below, I love to hear from you all! Lots of Love and Happy Holidays -Britt **


	8. Chapter 8: We're A Team Now

**Hey Guys! I told you guys I would be posting a lot this week so here's _another_ new chapter! This one is pretty long but I love it nonetheless. There's a lot of Jordi-Bee action and this chapter is pretty influence to their relationship throughout the rest of the story. Again same with reading any story there are some sensitive topics discussed in this chapter so please take caution reading, I'll try to keep it as non-graphic I can but I just wanted to post a warning as to not surprise any of you. So without any more delay, I present to you Chapter Eight: We're A Team Now**

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><p><em>That's the thing about lies: Even if you're telling them for the right reasons, the person who usually winds up getting hurt, is you. -Leo Roth<em>

We both sit down on my bed and I let out a shaky breath. I seriously can't believe I'm about to do this. You know what, I'll just wait. Yeah, I'm just going to wait until later, that way I'll have everyone in one place and I won't have to tell the same story twice.

"So what did you want to talk to me about." Jordi asks sensitively reaching over to put a comforting hand on my knee. Oh God what do I do? What do I do?

"Jordi," I begin. My whole body is shaking and I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life. Why am I nervous? "I have a confession to make." I feel his eyes beating down on me and I lower my head. "It's-it's really hard for me to-to say this." I stutter getting mixed up into my words. Tears are beginning to form in my eyes and my throat is stinging from choking down my sobs.

"Hey, Bee. It's alright." Jordi comforts pulling me into a hug. "I'm here for you okay? Nothing you say can possibly be that terrible. I'm here for you." His words are meant to console me, I know, but I'm just so afraid of what he's going to think of me when all is said and done. Nobody likes a liar.

"Jordi," I sigh, taking a deep breath. "I've been lying to you guys. I _do_ know why I'm here, I've just been too embarrassed and ashamed to admit it." There's actually a lot more emotions I feel with confronting my disease but it can't even begin to put them into words. Jordi listens attentively though, his arms tight and reassuring around me.

"It's okay Bee, you can talk to me."

I take a deep breath. "I have depression Jordi. I-I watched something really bad, something no one should ever have to experience." I can't bring myself to say what happened out loud so I carefully slide out a black frame I keep in my pillowcase and hand it to Jordi. He reads it silently.

"Phoebe, I'm so sorry." He finally says after finishing. Tears are openly streaming down my face now and my body is shaking with quiet sobs.

"I saw it all Jordi. There was so much blood. Claire-" I choke on my own words and Jordi pulls me closer into him. "She wasn't wearing a seatbelt, God Damnit Jordi! She never wears her fucking seatbelt!" I sob.

"Shh shh it's okay Bee." He consoles. I cry openly for a few seconds before continuing.

"She flew through the window, glass was everywhere and she just lied there. I jumped out of the car and I know you're not supposed to but I did. There's nothing I could do! God I should've done something, I could've saved her."

"Bee this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is!" I shout. "It's all my fault. I didn't know how to do CPR, my mom was thrown into a ditch across the road, my dad had hit his head on the dashboard and he was just laying there unconscious with blood pouring out of his head. I could've done something." We just sit there, me sobbing and Jordi holding me in his arms. Finally the sobs subside to little shakes and sniffles.

"I'm sorry Bee. Why did you feel like you had to hide this from us though? The whole point of the Red Band Society is to support each other through the tough times. We can't do that if you don't let us in on what's going on."

"I didn't want to lie to you guys, I really didn't and I feel awful for doing so but," I pause debating on whether to continue or not. "There's more to the story than what I'm telling you... The social workers released me to the custody of my aunt. I love her and everything but she just didn't understand what I was going through. She thought that I was fine, that I was back to normal. As you've probably noticed I'm pretty good at hiding my problems." At this he nods. "Sure my bumps and scratches healed but that doesn't mean that I did. I watched slowly as my mom got worse and worse. It was terrible. I felt so much grief and so much pain but I kept denying it not only to aunt but also to myself that those emotions were there. I lost control... I started cutting, it gave me a few seconds of this weird peace but afterwards I always just felt worse."

"It gave you back the control you felt you lost." Jordi acknowledges, I nod in response.

"One day I got back from visiting my mom in the hospital. They gave me news that I never thought I'd have to hear but considering everything that's happened it really shouldn't have been that much of a surprise." I stop. The words literally stop coming out of my mouth.

"What was it?" Jordi asks carefully.

"That she had less than a month to live." The words splur out of my mouth. "I was so upset. I felt like there was no point anymore. I felt like if she was gone there was nothing left for me to live for." Jordis jaw drops.

"No Bee. You didn't." I just nod, biting my lip. Slowly I extend my arm to him and he gently pulls up my sleeve. He looks, shocked at the scar near the bottom of my wrist.

"I just wanted it all to end. The pain, the looks from my classmates, everything. I wanted to be with my family again. Without my mom everyone I loved would be gone. They would all get to be together and I was stuck here suffering. So one day I just closed my bedroom door and did it. It wasn't deep enough though. Next thing I know I wake up here. My aunt could've taken me home with her, to get out-patient treatment with a therapist but I could tell she just couldn't deal with me anymore. She signed the forms for my residential stay, saying that I wasn't allowed to come back until I was better." I conclude quietly. I bite my lip harder trying to hold back another onslaught of tears.

"Wow Phoebe." Jordi just shakes his head. "That's a lot." I nod. "First of all I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of this, but you can only get better from here. You're in a group now, a great one at that. It's a good thing Leo introduced you to us because it's so important to have a support system here. I'm in the same boat as you in terms of not having family around so believe me when I say friends are everything when you're in a hospital. So for now on I want you to come to us, we're a team now. Any problem of yours is a problem of ours and we are here to help you along your way to recovery." I lower my head.

"I haven't told anyone yet. Kara knows but-"

"Wait," Jordi interjects. "You told Kara?"

"No, some how she found out! She's been holding it above my head ever since I've gotten here. She said that if I didn't tell you all by tonight, she will." I reply quietly.

"So basically she threatened you." Jordi grumbles angrily.

"I mean I wouldn't call it a threat." I begin "But I know she was definitely trying to mess with me."

"It was a threat Phoebe." Jordi counters. He let's out a long sigh. "Okay look, here's what we're going to do." I notice how he says we instead of just leaving me with my own problems. He's not kidding when he talks about being a team. "Ignore Kara, she's a total bitch. I'll hang around with you until Leo, Dash, and Emma get back, Kara won't bother you with me around. We will worry about talking to them all later. Today, however, is supposed to be fun _so,_ you and I are going to order a bunch of junk food and watch movies until everyone gets back." He gives me a big grin and I return a small one before sighing sadly.

"Jordi," I begin "you really don't have to do this for me." He cups his hand over my mouth.

"Shut up Phoebe. We are pigging out on Flamin' Hot Funyuns and ice cream and we are watching freaking High School Musical!" I burst out laughing. High School Musical? I mean yeah its a classic but I personally see Jordi as more of a Grease kind of guy. I think its the hair to be honest.

"Okay _Kara._" I joke chucking a pillow at him. He laughs.

"You're going to do this or I'm going to tell everyone you have cooties!" He jests back.

"That's it! I'm sticking up for myself!" I shout tackling Jordi so that the top half of his body is hanging off backwards. I'm on top of him and we're both breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes. I swear we are going to kiss but something catches my eye near the door. I see Nurse Jackson watching us quietly but when she sees I caught her staring she nods to herself and walks away. I slowly roll off of Jordi, the mood completely killed.

"You said something about ice cream?" I asked tossing him my phone. He smiles.

"Yea, chocolate or vanilla?"

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><p><strong>Hope you guys liked this chapter. I know it's one of the longer ones but I really want to get this story rolling because I feel like some recent chapters have been a little boring. Trust me when I say I have a lot planned for this story and I think you will all like it a lot. I'm still looking for more ideas for future chapters and also the Christmas chapter so be sure to post some in the review section. Also a little personal note, today I had the opportunity to work at a local food back and help hand out food to needy families in my community. If any of you readers ever have an chance to do something like this I highly recommend that you do. During holiday times especially it is very easy to take simple pleasures that we are given for granted, sometimes a reality check is just what you need to keep yourself grounded and thankful for what you do have. Thanks again for your continued support. Lots of Love and Happy Holidays -Britt <strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Initiation

**Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I don't have a lot to say for this chapter expect that ****any italicized writing is a flashback and that this chapter is only super long as to give enough background for the Christmas chapter which I WILL BE POSTING! Yay! Alright time to get to reading!**

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><p>After a heated debated about whether vanilla ice cream was better than chocolate and about 45 minutes into HSM, Emma knocks on the door frame. I'm snuggled up next to Jordi, his hands playing with my hair.<p>

"Hey Em." I giggle. "What's up?" She seems uncomfortable at the sight of Jordi and I but she tries to hide it behind a smile.

"Nothing much, we just got back. Did Nurse Jackson go looking for us? Should we be on red alert? Dash already has a story conjured up in case we need to use it." She speaks quickly.

"No," I laugh. "Or at least I haven't seen her recently. We've been here the entire time, tell me Emma, which is better chocolate or vanilla ice cream?"

"Um, vanilla?" She answers hesitantly. I raise my eyebrows at Jordi. Everybody knows vanilla is the way to go, he just needs to accept it and move on. "Jordi, Leo sent me to come get you. Ruben gave us the keys we just need to go set up." At this Jordi straightens up.

"Oh, yeah! Okay give me one second, I'll meet you up at The Swamp." He replies. Emma nods slowly before exiting. I turn to face Jordi questioningly.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"I can't say but I do need to go. Will you be okay if I leave?" I feel myself deflating a little bit. but I shake my head.

"Totally. It was nice of you to stay here and keep me company." He gives me a skeptical look.

"Are you sure? I feel bad just leaving you."

"No, don't Jordi." I giggle nervously. "I don't need a babysitter. Besides, it sounded pretty urgent."

"Okay." Jordi replies hesitantly before lowering his voice. "If Kara bothers you at all, just shoot me a text okay?" I nod.

"I'll be fine, now get out of here." I laugh pushing him off the bed playfully.

"Geez, alright." He jests dusting himself off.

"Bye Jordi." I tease rolling my eyes. He laughs, giving me a small wave before jogging down the hallway. I hear a muffled _slow down_ from Nurse Jackson and laugh despite myself. I toss off the covers and climb out of bed. I walk over to the TV, turning it off. I've had enough of Gabriela's pity party about whether or not she should date Troy. Come on, it's Zac Efron, the answer should be obvious. I need to find something else to occupy myself with, I never thought being in a hospital would be so boring, there's more time than I know what to do with.

I look around my room trying to think of something to do. My eyes land on a notebook near my bed. I walk over to it and glare down at it.

"_Have you thought about writing your feelings down at all?" Dr. Heart asks in that calm professional tone of her's_

"_Only a kazillion times," I mumble rolling my eyes._

"_Did you?" She asks._

"_Of course I did. Never said it helped though." I cross my arms defensively. This is so stupid. _

"_Well here is what I want you to do. Write down any thoughts or emotions you feel are important in this notebook and next time we meet we can talk about them." She suggests handing me a gray spiral notepad. I look at her doubtfully._

"_I don't know if I like that idea." I snark. "I'm not much of a writer. And besides if it was easy for me to talk about my 'emotions' do you honestly think I would be here?" _

"_Miss Johnson, you _are _here and you are here to get treatment, just like any other sick patient at this hospital. You can't get better if you don't want to put in the effort."_

"_I'm not sick." I argue. She lets out a slow frustrated breath._

"_Regardless, you have a problem. Phoebe you have been through a lot recently, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel after experiencing all of this. It's going to take time to face the situation at hand and I understand that, so maybe before you open up to me you should open up to yourself." _

"_That makes absolutely no sense." I scoff. _

"_Trust me, it will."_

I'm still glaring at the notebook when there is another knock. I jump back startled to see Dash at the door. I exhale slowly, good lord, I don't think he could have ever caught me more off guard.

"What's up bumble-bee?" He asks chuckling. "See what I did there?"

"Yeah, yeah so creative." I joke rolling my eyes. "And it was so kind of you to sneak up on me like that! Nothing better than having the socks scared off of you." He laughs

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." He shrugs, walking into my room. He's eyeing a bag of Funyuns and I toss it to him. He rips it open and munches on a few rings. "So," I drag out. "Are you here for a reason or just to eat my snacks." He licks his fingers.

"Oh yeah. We are all grabbing some dinner, Emma wanted me to come get you." He answers.

"I'm fine, I've been picking at these for a while." I answer with a shrug. I get up and begin to pick up the wrappers and empty bags scattered around.

"I think they have something planned for afterwards." Dash plays dumb. "You should probably come along anyway."

"Do they now?" I answer with a laugh. He nods vigorously. I shake my head, smiling smugly. "I _suppose_ I could go say hi." I give in tossing the scraps I've gathered into a garbage can.

"Great." Dash exclaims. "Now come on, I'm hungry." I roll my eyes and follow him to Leo's room where they've all ordered pizza.

"Yo!" Dash cheers as we enter the room. I can't say that I'm happy to notice that Kara and Hunter decided to make an appearance. Hunter is courteous enough to give me a nod while Kara is choosing to completely ignore me.

I pause at the door a moment before deciding to go sit by Emma. She gives me a smile once I sit down.

"Not hungry?" She asks. I shake my head, her nodding in answer. We both watch as everyone chows down on their pizza.

"How was your trip?" I ask making conversation.

"It was good. We were able to find everything we needed." Emma gives me a suspicious smile.

"Should I be scared?" I whisper. She laughs and bumps sideways into me.

"Maybe." We make small talk until everyone is done eating. Soon all eyes are on me.

"So, Miss Johnson." Leo dictates in a dark voice. "Are you ready to be initiated into the Red Band Society?" My eyes widen and I look to Emma for an answer. She gives me an encouraging nod.

"Um, yes?" I answer cautiously.

"Then follow us." Jordi continues in the same dark tone. We all file out of the room and I follow everyone down the hallway. We come to a gray, heavy metal door. This better just be a pit stop because I really don't feel like getting a lecture from Nurse J about snooping around. Dash pushes open the door though, I internally groan, double checking to make sure no staff are around. I quickly follow everyone up a small flight of stairs, it's colder here. I finally reach the top and my jaw drops in awe. We are on the roof, the whole thing decked out with couches and Christmas lights. My face breaks into a grin.

"Awe! You guys!" I cry pulling anyone near me into a group hug. Those I left out crowd around and we all squeeze together. "You guys did this for me? You're the sweetest!"

"We just wanted to make you feel welcomed." Jordi explains as we all pull out of the group hug. I throw my arms around him happily.

"You guys most definitely did!" I tell him. Everyone is smiling, even Kara. We migrate over to the couches and bean bags everyone coupling off leaving Dash by himself.

"Come here Dash." I shout patting the spot next to me. He acts cool but I can tell he's happy to be included. "You know," I turn to him. "I don't think you get hardly enough credit. You're like the side kick, everyone over looks you but you're actually the most important part of the group. Without you we'd all just be horny teenagers stuck in a hospital." Everyone laughs at that where as I didn't even notice they were all listening. I crack a smile and shrug.

"Thank you Bee." Dash projects."I mean as much as I hate being called a side kick, you at least make it sound like a good thing." Everyone laughs again but behind his joke I can tell Dash's gratitude is genuine.

"This is getting brought the beer?" Kara groans. Oh man how hard it is not to roll my eyes. Leo reaches behind the couch he's sitting on and pulls out an eight pack of beer. They all pass it around, Jordi hands one to me.

"I, uh, I don't drink." I mumble.

"Neither do I." Jordi whispers. "That's why I bring these." He reaches behind him and slyly replaces the beer cans with similar looking ones but instead in fine print it says apple cider.

"You swear this isn't the hard stuff?" I ask with a chuckle. Jordi crosses his heart and hands one to me. I pop the tab and take a sip, yup definitely not getting white girl wasted on this stuff.

After a while of us all talking casually, Jordi whips out his guitar and begins to play. I've moved to sit on the furry rug so that he has enough room. Jordi's actually really good! I'm watching him sing when I feel a buzz underneath me. I pull out my phone and look down at it.

_Better speak up soon Scissorhands, curfews creeping up like your dead sister. _

I gape down at the message before shooting my gaze to Kara who gives me a smug look. Oh my God! Is this really happening right now? My hands are beginning to sweat as I wring them nervously in my hands. Jordi plays a final chord of his song, turning to look at me. He must see my worried expression because he casually puts down his guitar and slides down to sit by me.

I wait until everyone is swooped up into their own conversations again before showing him the message. He let's out a slow sigh after reading it.

"Alright then." He whispers. "You ready?"

"No I'm not ready!" I hiss at him. He puts his hand on my knee.

"It's okay Bee. I'm going to be right here." I'm shaking. I can't do this. I can't. As if to answer my thoughts Jordi speaks up again. "You _can _do this."

I look up to where everyone is goofing around, joking happily along with each other. It's a shame I have to deliver this sad news but if I don't do it Kara will. I clear my throat.

"Hey guys," I project loudly. Everyone quiets down and looks over towards me. I take a deep breath, my adrenaline conquering the fear that's taken over my entire system. I'm numb, like how you are right before the big drop on a roller coaster. "I wanted to confront everyone. I've lied and it's time for me to clear everything up. It's time for you guys to get to know the real Phoebe Johnson." I dive into the story of the accident and everything that happened after. Everyone is quiet, listening intently to my words. When I finally finish Leo is the first to speak.

"Wow Phoebe." He says before directing to the rest of the group. "Guys, I think Bee's succeeded in her initiation. It's time to make her an official Red Bander!" Everyone cheers but I'm somewhat taken aback by their intensity. Like, I've just told you all this sob story, you're not going to give me your "condolences" or do the other weird stuff people do when encountered with a grieving person? Guess not. This is a good change though, I hated everyone cooing over me, my aunt and I received more honey baked hams than we could ever eat.

Leo approaches me slowly, using his crutches instead of his chair, I've realized that he's actually pretty tall. I give him a nervous smile. "Phoebe Johnson, you are about to join the strongest group of friends you will ever have the chance to encounter. Do you think you're ready?"

"Um, I don't know." I answer. I still have no idea what this whole Red Band thing is about. Everybody laughs including Leo.

"Just say yes." He tells me.

"Yes?" I reply but it comes out as more of a question than anything else. There are a few more giggles before Leo continues.

"Alright Miss Johnson. Do you solemnly swear to stand by your fellow Red Banders, lending love, support, and the occasional crutch to any of the members in need?" This conjures up another round of giggles, including me this time.

"Most definitely." I answer with a newly found confidence.

"Than I, Leo Roth, hereby declare Phoebe Johnson as the newest member of the Red Band Society!" Everybody claps and cheers while I'm standing here beaming like an idiot. I still have hardly an idea of what's going on but I think I like it.

"Now," Leo says. "Lets make this official." He pulls a red hospital bracelet off his wrist. All of the puzzle pieces begin to fall into place. "Bee, this is from-"

"Wait." Emma interrupts getting up from her seat. "Let me do this one Leo." He nods stepping aside allowing Emma to come up to me.

"Phoebe." She begins. "This band is for when I first got here. The whole reason I became Anorexic in the first place was because I felt useless and powerless. I want you to know that you're not alone." Her words are so simple, so plain, but they mean so much to me. Emma slides the band onto my wrist, right below my scar. I stare at it, a bad ending but a new beginning both in the same place. I pull Emma into a tight hug.

"Yuck, that's enough of this lovey dovey stuff for me." Kara spits. I would glare at her but I'm too happy to.

"Come one Kara, we all know you live for this kind of stuff." Jordi says walking over to me. Kara raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.

"Uh huh. Sure I do." She snarks.

"Oh yeah? Is that why I found The Notebook and The Fault In Our Stars in your drawer the other day?" Hunter laughs but Kara glares at him.

"How did you find those?" She hisses to him under her breath.

"Um, when someone was stupid enough to forget a condom and I had to go find one." Hunter whispers back. Ew, gross.

"Alright everybody," Leo says breaking up their hushed conversation. "Bring it in." Everybody, including Kara get up and form a big group hug with me in the center. Sure, I've been through a lot but in the end life is full of black holes but the only person who can pull you out is you.

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><p><strong>That's it for tonight! Also special shout out to the guest who wrote a review for me, I don't know if you are reading this or not but if you are thanks so much! Happy Holidays everybody, sleep tight! -Britt<strong>


	10. Christmas Chapter

**It's here! It's really here! The long awaited Christmas Chapter is here! I hope you all enjoy! Merry Christmas! **

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><p>"It's Christmas!" Is the first thing that pops into my head. I open my eyes excitedly to be welcome by the bleak sight of my hospital room. Reality hits me like a brick as I realize this Christmas is not going to be like all the others. With one last glimmer of hope I look to the side of my bed praying to be greeted by Claire's awful snoring or by my Dad with his video camera. But there was no one. I really don't want to do anything today, just sleep in my room until this horrible holiday is over. It's hard to think this was once my favorite time of year, probably why it hurts so much now. The emptiness of my room is too depressing so I drag myself up out of bed and into the bathroom.<p>

I take a hot shower, Christmas songs wanting to force themselves out of my mouth. I keep it shut though. I haven't sang at all since the accident. I quickly finish and get out. I decide on a maroon skater skirt with black hose and a black crop top. Sure its a little dressy but Claire always loved when I wore it. She had the same outfit just with a black skirt and a maroon top, it was one of the very few times she'd willingly dress like me. I let out a slow breath as I look at myself in the mirror. It's going to be a long day.

I don't wait for anyone to swing by my room to invite me to breakfast, instead I just slide on some black flats and sulk down there myself. The hospital is decorated with tinsel and paper chains. There is even Christmas music playing softly. I would be in Christmas Heaven if I weren't in such a sour mood. I pass rooms where families have gathered, talking happily or tearing open gifts.

I finally just get down to the cafeteria where there are a few groups gathered at large tables, most of them families. A mixture of jealousy and sadness take hold of me as I pour myself some coffee. I sit down at a table close to the window and sip at my drink absently.

"_Bee," Claire whispers from her side of the bed. "Get up! Santa's been here." She jumps on top of me and I groan. _

"_Claire go back to bed, it's like seven." I mumble tossing her off of me. _

"_Bee, it's nine thirty. Now get up, get up, get up!" She rolls me sideways off the bed._

"_Claire!" I giggle tackling her. We play fight for a few minutes before we hear the familiar click of Daddy's video camera. We both groan and look at him exasperatedly._

"_Dad," Claire starts but my dad gestures to her. _

"_No, no keep doing what you guys were doing, pretend I'm not here." Claire and I give each other a look before tackling my Dad and tickling him. _

"_I'll race you downstairs Claire!" I shout taking off out of the room. She stumbles getting up and chases after me. We run down the stairs and into the living room where the floor is completely full of presents. We both give out a 'woah' as my Dad tramples down after us and my mom comes in from the kitchen. _

I remember that year as one of my favorite Christmas's. I was nine, back when the Christmas magic was still so real. Claire had convinced me she heard sleigh bells and we would try so hard to catch any evidence of Santa. I miss that magic, I miss everything.

"Hey Phoebe." I look up to see Kara. "Do you mind if I sit?" I'm taken aback but nevertheless I nod to the seat across from me. She sits down. "Do you really think you should be drinking that.?You're only like 5'2 and everybody knows cafenine stunts your growth." I roll my eyes.

"I stopped growing in 8th grade." I mumble taking a defiant sip from my coffee.

"Lucky you." Kara retorts. We sit there silently a moment. Oh man I want to tell her off so bad! But a part of me is convinced there is at least something nice and friendly inside Kara. Then again it could've died. "So, do you have any plans for today?" She asks.

"No, why would I? My family's either dead or completely disowned me." I reply bitterly. I don't mean to be harsh but that's just how it came out. Kara nods slowly.

"I'm sorry." She says quietly. I'm shocked to hear the words come out of her mouth. "For everything." She adds after a pause.

"Thank you." I reply. We both just sit there quietly for a little while until I see Leo, Dash, Jordi, and Emma walk into the room. I lower my head hoping they don't come over.

"You're up early today bumble-bee." Dash yawns dragging up a chair. I give him a tight smile before taking another swig from my coffee. I feel arms wrap around me from behind.

"Merry Christmas Bee!" Emma trills hugging me. I smile.

"You too Em." Everybody gets their breakfast and my little two person table extends to fit all of us. Hunter is the only one missing.

"Where's Hunter, Kara?" I ask. She takes a bit of a green sprinkle doughnut.

"He had something with his family today." She answers through a mouth full of pastry. I nod in response. "What are you guys' plans today." Dash is trying to hook up with the cute girl on the fourth floor by carrying around some mistletoe, hoping to get lucky. Leo is having family visit and Emma, of course is sticking around. Most likely after Hunter is done meeting with his family Kara will give him her Christmas gift, if you know what I mean. The only one left is Jordi.

"I'm thinking about going to the senior floor and play some songs for them." He says when the discussion turns toward him. "Other than that I don't really have anything else planned." We all continue with our breakfast talking about our favorite Christmas memories, I don't say much. Soon everyone parts their own separate ways leaving me and Jordi. I give him a small smile.

"So Miss Bee." He begins. "I was kind of wondering if I could have the pleasure of dragging you along to play for the senior citizens. They have a piano up there and I could teach you how to play Feliz Navidad."

"Oh, Jordi, I'd love to. It's just I haven't really sung or played much since the whole incident." I answer quietly. Jordi gives me a small nod.

"You don't have to play if you don't want to, I would just love it if you would come." He's basically begging now. "Besides, I could use a muse." He jokes. Is he flirting with me? I can't turn this down, I don't want to hurt his feelings. I mean its not like I'm doing anything today anyway.

"Alright fine." I give in. "I'll be your _muse_." We both laugh and go to his room to get ready.

**Time Skip**

Jordi's setting up in the lobby of the senior center on a small raised platform. He was right, there is a piano right beside him on the makeshift stage. A small crowd of cute little old people have assembled taking seats around the stage. Jordi pulls me up beside him.

"What are you doing?" I ask with a giggle.

"I'm setting up." He replies tuning his guitar.

"And you need me because?" He gives me a sly smile.

"You're my muse. I need to keep you in close proximity so I can see you clearly." I shake my head laughing. He walks me over to a seat over to the side of the stage and makes a scene of helping me sit. I laugh and take a seat. He returns to center stage strumming a chord.

"Merry Christmas everyone." He greets the small crowd. They all smile at him. "I hope you don't mind me playing a few songs." He plays beautifully, his voice is gorgeous, but so is his face. He's been sneaking glances at me between songs causing me to always blush. After he finishes a song he speaks into the mic again.

"Now I only have one last song to play, I was kind of hoping that my special friend Bee would join me." He says looking at me with puppy eyes. I lull my head to the side and give him a look. He smiles giving me his hand. "Please Phebs." He begs. I look out at the group who've gathered, people begin to stop what they are doing to look up at us and a few are smiling.

"Could I really say no?" I finally say under the pressure of all the watching eyes. I take his hand. There are a few claps that grow into an applause as Jordi leads me over to the piano.

"Feliz Navidad?" He asks quietly.

"Already know it." I reply confidently. He smiles at me. I begin to play and he jumps in with his guitar. After the first chorus I begin to sing harmonies while Jordi sings the melody. This earns me an impressed grin from my partner.

"From the bottom of my heart." We finish together. The small room erupts into applause and I notice that many more people have gathered to listen. Jordi steps aside and gestures toward me.

"The incredible Phoebe Johnson everybody!" He says above the claps. I get up beside him and do a small curtsey before taking his hand and forcing him to bow with me.

It is after the show, most people have cleared out and Jordi is packing up his stuff.

"You were absolutely amazing Bee." He tells me while zipping up his case.

"Thanks Jordi, you know I wouldn't have been able to-" I'm cut off by a shout. I turn around to find myself face to face with my aunt. She throws her arms around me.

"Joyeux Noël Phoebe!" She cries as she embraces me. I tense up. "Oh Phoebe," she exclaims. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend!"

"Tante Tess, que faites-vous ici?" I ask pushing her away.

"I'm visiting my niece!" She answers as if she's hurt by my comment. "I didn't know that would be a problem."

"Well you seem to not know a lot of things lately." I scoff. She looks at me like a math problem she's trying to solve.

"Phoebe, what's gotten into you? This is not the same sweet girl I remember." She says this as if she cares. The nerve she must have to show up here.

"I don't know, you must've taken her with you when you dumped me here." I glare at her.

"Oh chérie, you were sick." She continues, reaching out to place her palm on my cheek gently. "I did what was best for your health."

"No," I argue slapping her hand away. "You did what was best for you." I storm off the stage and march toward the elevator. The door is just about to slide closed before Jordi hops in. I'm so consumed by anger that all I can manage to do is shake my head and glare straight ahead of me.

"That's my aunt for you." I remark through gritted teeth.

"That was kind of harsh Bee." Jordi admits softly. I turn to face him.

"And you think ditching me here for her own personal gain isn't?" I rant.

"I understand why you would feel like that but she made an effort to come see you. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't still care about you."

"No," I sneer sarcastically. "It's not like she has a guilty conscious already. You don't know my aunt Jordi, she acts like the sweetest thing on earth but that doesn't mean she's not selfish and a complete bitch." I'm out of line saying that, I know but I hate her so much right now I can't stop my mouth from running.

"She does care about you Bee, you just need to give her a chance."

"She would never understand what I'm going through." I argue.

"They say to really understand someone you have to walk a mile in their shoes. However what they often leave out is that some shoes are harder to walk in than others. Maybe that's because some people don't want to let you in." We are both silent for a moment, he's right but my ties are so severed with my aunt I can't even think about giving her a second chance. The elevator dings and the door creaks open.

"You know what Jordi?" I utter. "Maybe if you really think that you should give _her_ a fucking band and make it official." I take off down the hallway, hatred burning hot inside of me. Does nobody see where I'm coming from? No body is ever on my side, it's always my fault, _I'm _always the one ruining things don't you know?

I wish my room had a door so I could slam it. I grab a pillow off my bed and scream into it. The tears begin to flow so I lock myself in to avoid the intruding eyes of any doctors or nurses. I sob into pillow, this is totally the worst Christmas ever! I just wish Claire was here, I wish my dad was here, God I just want everything to be back to the way it was before.

"Bee?" There's a knock on my door.

"Go away Jordi!" I shout over my sobs.

"I'm sorry Bee, please come out." He pleads from behind the door.

"I said go away Jordi!" I yell and all is quiet again. My sobs have stopped. I'm now just sitting on the edge of my sink, a guest of honor for my own pity party. Suddenly I hear a sound come from outside of the door. It's Jordi playing his guitar.

"Go away Jordi." I moan but he keeps playing. After a while my frazzled nerves seem to mend. I slowly open my door to be greeted by Jordi sitting in a chair in the corner of my room. He seems sucked into his own music because he doesn't even notice me come out. I slowly creep out of the bathroom and sit on the edge of my bed watching Jordi play. He looks up and strums an ending cord before putting his guitar aside.

"Hey." He offers me a small smile.

"Hey." I reply.

"I'm really sorry about earlier, I didnt mean to hurt your feelings. I should've been more empathetic. I guess I've just been so used to having Christmas alone I forgot what it was like at first."

"At least you've had your Abuela. I have no one." I reply sadly.

"You know that's not true." Jordi says getting up and coming over to sit by me. He pulls out a little box and hands it to me.

"What's this?" I turn the box in my hands a few times before taking off the top. I look down at a silver necklace adorned with a locket.

"It's from your aunt." He answers. I click it open to see on one side a picture of my mom pecking a kiss on my dad's cheek. On the other side is a picture of Claire and I laughing. I put my hand to my mouth stifling the oncoming tears. Jordi puts his arm around me.

"She asked me to give it to you." He continues softly. "She felt really bad for causing you to run off, she told me it would just be easier if she left." I close the locket and feel something under my thumb. I turn the locket over to see an engraving that says "_la vie continue" _or "life goes on" in English. I explain this to Jordi.

This little glittering trinket sitting in my hands, it may not seem like much but to me it's the world. It's everyone who's ever loved me in one place, including my aunt. We're all together again. I give Jordi a hug.

"Thank you." I declare as I pull away from the hug with a smile on my face.

"I've got one more surprise for you." Jordi grins.

"I don't think I can't handle any more surprises." I declare. Jordi just laughs and pulls out a mistletoe, holding it above our head. My jaw drops. "Where did you get that?" I tease.

"I might've borrowed some from Dash." He laughs. "You're not going to break Christmas tradition are you?" He asks flirtatiously. I give him a small smile before softly kissing him on his lips. We are interrupted by whistling and applause.

"Get it J man." Kara snickers. I quickly pull away blushing. Leo, Emma, Dash, and Kara have been watching us.

"Damn glass windows." I mumble and everyone laughs. They all come in taking seats at various places around my room. They begin talking about their days while Jordi clasps the locket around my neck.

"So how was your Christmas Bee?" Emma asks.

"I guess this holiday wasn't too awful." I conclude leaning my head on Jordi's shoulder.

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><p><strong>Sorry for such a long chapter but I hope you all liked it! Lots of Love -Britt<strong>


	11. Chapter 11: When?

**Hey Guys! I hope you all are enjoying you're holiday break. I'm thinking about getting back into the routine of posting on Mondays and Wednesdays again, so try and count on that with maybe a few off chapters. I already have a pretty awesome chapter on hand that I may post tomorrow so we will just see how the day goes.**

** Now I don't know if any of you have read a certain story called "You're Going To Bend But Don't Let Them Break You." by **Rosalie1316. **It is one of the most popular Red Band Society Fanfictions on this site and definitely one of my favorites. Recently she gave me a shout out at the end of chapter 21 in her story and I'm going to return the favor! Rosie if you see this update thanks so much and I can't wait to hear from you again! So without any more small talk here is Chapter Eleven, it's pretty short but there is going to be some drama that comes up next chapter that should make up for it ;)**

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><p>So you know that saying that goes somewhat along the lines of "I'm only a morning person on Christmas"? Yea, that's totally me right now.<p>

"Hey, Bee, it's time to get up. You have another appointment with Dr. Heart this morning." Brittany states shaking me slightly.

"Britt, please let me sleep." I beg. I've found that she's not as tough as Nurse Jackson. Maybe she'll let me slide for a few more minutes of shut eye. I can hear her thinking.

"I suppose you could sleep in for just a little while more." She finally gives in. I give her a sleepy smile.

"You're the best." I mumble settling back into bed.

"Oh no she's not." I hear Nurse Jackson declare. I let out an audible groan. "Phoebe Johnson we are not going through this today." She lectures marching over. "Brittany, go check on the boys." She waves Brittany out of the room.

"Nurse Jackson,' I moan. "Do I really have to go?"

"Yes Bee. You _really _do."

"I don't want to." I huff.

"Too bad. Now if you want to look cute for Jordi I'd suggest getting up and getting ready because you're not coming back to your room until later this afternoon." I pop my eyes open and glare at her.

"First of all, we're _not_ dating." I express this with distinction. "Second of all, why can't I come back to my room?"

"You're getting a roommate." Nurse Jackson answers. My jaw drops.

"I don't want a roommate!" I argue.

"It'll be good for you Bee, you'll have someone to relate to and keep you company." She states.

"I have Jordi, Leo, Emma, and Dash for that! Even then that doesn't explain why _I'm _being kicked out of _my _room. Where am I supposed to go until then?" I exclaim.

"_You have Jordi, Leo, Emma, and Dash for that._" She mocks me and I roll my eyes. "To answer your question, you're new roomate has a few, uh, _decorations _she wants to put up. She asked for the room to be free from anything that would distract her from _her creative process._"

"You're kidding me." I whine.

"I wish I was sweet pea." She shakes her head. "Now hurry up and get ready. I'll be back in 10 minutes to take you down to Dr. Heart's office." She leaves my room, stopping at the nurses station to talk to Brittany and Kenji. She looks back towards my room and when she notices I'm not up she gives me one of her deadly stares. I throw my hands up defensively before tossing my sheets off of me and migrating to the bathroom to get ready.

I just decide on yoga pants and a pink sweatshirt given my squished time frame. I don't have time to take a shower either so I just dry shampoo my 2nd day curled hair and tease it into a messy ponytail. I wash my face at least and right as I'm putting on the finishing touches of my makeup there is a knock on the door.

"Come on Phoebe." It's Nurse Jackson. "Time to go." I gloss on some light pink lip-gloss and give my ponytail one last tease before walking out. "Ready?" Nurse J asks.

"Yeah, let me put some shoes on." I slip on my tan Bailey Bow Uggs before following Nurse Jackson down to Dr. Heart's office. I absolutely dread this dumb appointment, last time we met let's just say was not exactly a pleasant experience.

"So how are you feeling?" Nurse J asks.

"Nervous." I reply.

"Is that so?" I nod. "Why's that?" I really don't want to answer, mostly because quite frankly I don't know. Well, maybe I do but I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about anything in fact, just go on with my life and push all the bad feelings aside. I remain silent as Nurse Jackson leads me into Dr. Heart's office.

"Thank you Dena." Dr. Heart speaks up from her computer. Nurse Jackson leaves and I'm just standing here like an idiot. "You can sit down Phoebe." Dr. Heart directs to me. I tentatively take a seat at one of the stiff leather chairs in front of her desk. She finally looks up from her hurried typing and gives me warm smile before leaning back casually in her chair.

"Good morning." She says. I don't say anything back but just stare blankly ahead of me. I cross my arms, Dr. Heart's eyes take note of my action. I guess part of psychology is being observant of body language, I hope she catches my drift of annoyance and coldness. "How are you feeling today?" She asks carefully.

"Fine." I respond in a bleak tone. She stares at me trying to read me, but I'm closed book.

"So let's talk about Christmas. I heard you had a visitor." She inquires

"My aunt Tess." Is all I give her.

"And how was that?" She asks.

"Fine." I reply. She gives out a sigh.

"Is this really how you're going to choose to act today?" She scolds and I shrug. She clicks her tongue and types something into her computer. "Have you written anything in the journal I gave you?" She continues.

"No." I answer. "I haven't." She gives me a sad look.

"Miss Johnson, what I'm asking of you is not a difficult thing. Why are you putting so much effort into fighting this when you could be putting that same effort into getting better?"

"You think I'm fighting my treatment?" I scoff.

"Well you're definitely not trying very hard! I would think a girl with your type of history would want to get out of here as quickly as possible."

"Oh, yeah?" I rant. "And what exactly do you think is my 'history'?" She pulls out a drawer from her desk and takes out a creme colored folder. She licks her finger and begins to flip through it.

"It says here you were a varsity volleyball player, star cheerleader, class president three years running. Not to mention the high social status I am told you possess among your fellow students. Now tell me, why would a pretty, smart, popular girl like yourself want to keep herself locked away here when you could return back to that happy life?"

"None of it would be worth it now." I mumble without thinking.

"Because of Claire being gone." Dr Heart concludes. I give no response even though the inside of me is tearing apart. "It says that you two did everything together. That must've gotten infuriating at times." She's trying to get a kick out of me by saying these things. I mean yeah it did, often, but I feel guilty thinking about that when I should hold close any memories I do have of my sister.

"I don't really want to talk." I state through gritted teeth.

"When will you be Phoebe?" She demands. "You can't keep pushing this aside! These flashbacks, these emotions, you can't lock them up inside of you. You aren't this infinite vault. One day you're going to run out of room for all of these things to lock up and you're going to burst. Don't let that happen to yourself." I absorb this quietly but say nothing. It strikes a nerve but I don't want her to notice that she got to me.

The rest of the appointment is pretty uneventful. Dr Heart talks about adjusting my medication, adding another antidepressant and something to help me sleep at night. She thinks that it will help make me feel less drowsy in the morning. She also thinks, to my disliking, that some group therapy will do me some good. She believes so highly in her own decision that she's signed me up for a session each day this week! Isn't that just swell.

I leave the appointment with the same bitterness that I came in with except this time I can't go back to my room to sleep off this awful day. I drag myself off to, you know what. I actually have no idea where I'm going. I'll just let my feet carry me wherever they want to go.

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><p><strong>Alright and that's it! I wanted to thank you all as usual for taking time out of your busy lives to read my story. Just another shout out to <strong>Rosalie1316 **and **demi-wolf3T! **You guys are the ! Lots of Love - Britt **


	12. Chapter 12: Just Grow A Pair

**Hey Guys! Okay so I tried something a little risky in this chapter but I worked super hard on it! So basically I was thinking along the lines of like on a TV show how it switches back and forth between a conversation with two characters but they are basically saying the same stuff. It will make sense once you read it. Just remember _Bold and Italicized is Bee, _**_Just italicized is Jordi, _and underlined is the both of them. **I hope this chapter isn't too confusing but if it is I'm apologizing in advance, this is the only way I could think to write the scene the way I wanted. Explanation over, start reading!**

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><p>I let the breeze drift through my hair and watch the stream ripple in front of me. It's a nice day considering it's December, I remember back in Ohio how it would always be cold and slushy during this time of year. The weather change was one of my favorite things when we moved to Cali.<p>

"You must be stressed." I turn to see Jordi behind me.

"You must be too." I comment acknowledging the guitar that's slung over his shoulder.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks

"You first." I reply.

"I have to start another round of chemo in a few days. My social worker is giving me Hell about it because I don't have a guardian to sign off. The first time around my mom just happened to pop in for a visit and was able to sign off. Now that's she's disappeared again I need to find another way to get my treatments approved." I nod in response and look back out at the water. "Now what about you?" He asks sliding his guitar off his shoulder and taking a seat by me.

"I had another meeting with Dr. Heart today." I say quietly.

"I take it that it didn't go too well." I shake my head.

"Nope."

"I'm here to talk if you want." Jordi offers after a moment of silence.

"I don't think I want to talk about the meeting but I'll talk about something else." I say

"Okay, shoot." He tells me. I quickly turn around to face him.

"You would not believe what's happening today." I exclaim taking on that tone I always do when I start to gossip.

"What?" Jordi chuckles.

"They're giving me a roommate!" I exasperate.

"You're kidding!" Jordi cries.

"No! I'm like completely kicked out of my room because she needs to do some 'redecorating' or something." I declare. "What am I even supposed to do until then?" Jordi gives me a shy smile.

"We could just hang out." He says quietly scooting over a little closer. My heart begins to flutter and I begin to think about how sweet it was of him to come down and check on me. He's taken care of me ever since I got here and especially on Christmas he was so cute! He actually wanted to hang out with me, and kiss me. My cheeks start to blush at just them memory.

"I was kind of hoping the same thing." I smile. We lock eyes for a moment and my heart changes from skipping every few beats to completely stopped. Slowly Jordi leans forward and I feel myself doing the same. It isn't long until our lips connect. His hands find my face and I intertwine mine in his hair. His kiss is soft, just meeting mine but I've kissed a lot of boys in my days and I move the process along. It's totally steamy up in this streamy. Oh man, I'm turning into my mother and her awful jokes. This thought hits me like a brick and my heart takes on a heavy feeling, returning me to reality.

"Jordi," I mumble pulling way. "I'm sorry. I just can't do this. I was out of line kissing you. I'm not ready to commit to anyone, I can't even commit to myself. I just don't want to drag you into this mess of mine and end up hurting you if, something happens." Jordi's expression falls.

"I'm sorry Bee." He apologizes. "God I feel like such an idiot."

"Don't, if it were under different circumstances I would be all over you." I laugh before taking on a more serious tone. "It's just, I don't know what I'm capable of anymore. I don't want to get close to anyone I guess in case something does happen."

"Bee don't talk like that." Jordi pleads reaching out to stroke my face gently. I turn away from his gesture even though all I want to do is pull into another kiss.

"I should go." I mumble getting up. "It was nice talking Jordi." I drag myself back up the trail to the hospital.

**Time skip**

"_Leo, man. You got a sec?" I ask walking into our room._

"_Sure thing Jordi." He replies. I take a seat on my bed and place my head in my hands._

"_I messed up big time."_

"_**What do you mean you messed up Bee?" Emma asks me.**_

"_**I let my feelings get too far ahead of me and I just messed up." I shrug.**_

"_**What happen?" She inquires.**_

"_I kissed Bee." I moan._

"_**You kissed Jordi?" Emma shrieks. "That's awesome! Was he good?" **_

"_That's beside the point, I mean yeah she was a pretty good kisser but that's not what's bothering me." I tell Leo._

"_Okay, what's up then? You kissed this girl you've been liking since she got here and there's a problem?" _

"_**I wasn't ready." I declare. "I'm not ready." I correct myself. Emma gives me a weird look.**_

"_**What do you mean? You finally kissed the guy you've been pawning over like the past week and you're saying you're not ready?"**_

"_She said she doesn't want to hurt me. She said she doesn't want to get close to anyone because she doesn't know what she's capable of anymore." I explain._

"_So, she's basically said that she doesn't want to hook up with you because she doesn't know if she's going to try to commit suicide again?" Leo asks. _

"_**Yeah, I guess that sounds about right. I mean I think its more of I need to get better before I get involved with anyone." I murmur in reply to Emma.**_

"_**Bee, that is absolutely stupid. You're passing up this awesome guy because you don't want it to get in the way of you getting better! Besides, last time I checked you could care less about all of your counseling and therapy." My heart seizes at this, I guess, obvious fact.**_

"_Alright Jordi, so this isn't as bad of a situation as you think it is." Leo tells me after pondering for a moment. _

"It's not?" I ask

"_**Nope." Emma continues. "I once read somewhere that human interaction is the best type of medicine for a wounded soul. I also know that love is the most powerful thing on earth. Put those two together and I think you might have solution to your problem."**_

"_Not at all." Leo answers. "To me this looks like you're classic damsel in distress story. She just needs her prince charming to come sweep her off her feet."_

"It's not that easy."

"_**It really is Bee. I say you give it another chance." Emma explains.**_

"_What if I make a complete fool of myself? What if she doesn't even want to talk to me again." _

"_Now you're just being dramatic Jordi." Leo laughs._

"_**I just walked away though!" I cry. "I seriously just let him sitting there by the stream, probably feeling awful. What am I supposed to do? Just go straight up to him and be like 'Hey, I know I'm unstable and super messed up but I'm kind of hoping you're as into me as I am into you?'" **_

"_**Yeah, that sounds perfect." Emma laughs. **_

"_I'm serious Leo!" I exclaim. "I've never been good at fixing awkward situations, normally I just make them worse."_

"_Jordi, you just need to grow a pair and go talk to her! I'm sure she won't be upset, don't tell Bee but Emma always tells me how much she likes you. I'm pretty sure they are off talking about it right now."_

"_**Lovely." I moan. **_

"_**Well maybe this is the perfect opportunity." Emma **_ _**grins.**_

"_Oh no. We are not going down there." I tell Leo._

"_**Oh yes we are!" Emma cries taking my hand and pulling me out of her room towards Leo and Jordi's.**_

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><p><strong>Did it work? I hope you all understood this chapter okay! Again if you just need a quick reminder <strong>** _Bold and Italicized is Bee, _**_Just italicized is Jordi, _and underlined is the both of them. **That's about it! Don't forget to check back soon for more updates, I have a few chapters prewritten so it's just a matter of finding time to post them. Also I'm almost done with my first Character Profile which is on Bee! I'll be posting this soon also or I will include a link if I can find a way to put it online somewhere. I hope you all are having an amazing break! Lots of Love - Britt **


	13. Chapter 13: Renovations

**Hey Guys! New Year means new chapter! Hope you guys enjoy, this is personally one of my favorites with lots of drama. Not giving out any spoilers so you all just better get reading!**

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><p>"Hey Leo, hey Jordi." Emma smiles as we walk up to the guys. Oh God this is awkward. Jordi gives me small smile and I return the gesture. Okay, situation slightly less awkward.<p>

"Hey Emma." Leo says pecking a kiss on her cheek. "What are you girls up to?"

"We were just going to Bee's room to hang out for a while." Oh shit. I didn't tell her about my new roommate. Jordi gives me a wary look and I grimace. I'm so happy that he's actually looking at me again after all of this that I could care less about barging in on my roomies renovations.

We all make our way to my room. Emma and Leo linger behind while Jordi and I are up front.

"Hey," I start quietly. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier. My nerves were just frazzled and Dr. Heart always gets me all confused with my feelings and crap. I hope you didn't take anything to heart." I pause. "I actually do like you." I finally say with a slow breath.

"Don't worry about it Bee." Jordi gives me a smile. "I completely understand, it's my fault too, I shouldn't have moved in on you like that. It was uncalled for."

"So, can we have a do-over?" I ask tentatively

"Of course." Jordi grins putting his arm around me. I feel like I'm melting, drowning in my own relief. We turn the corner and I look into my room where there are black curtains and dark decorations hanging all over my room. Heavy metal music is blaring and there is a girl with a short black pixie cut standing on a ladder hanging up a poster of God knows what.

"Oh no." I exclaim unwrapping Jordi's arm from my shoulders and storming in. "Oh Hell no!" I march over to the speakers that are blaring the music and yank the cord. The girl gives me a look before taking a seat on the rung of the ladder she was just standing on.

"You must be Phoebe." She says offering me a dark smile.

"And you must be the freak they assigned as my roommate." I growl.

"Actually it's Ivy." She corrects.

"Like the rash." I scoff. There's a pair of hands on my shoulders.

"Easy there killer.' Leo murmurs in my ear. He lets go and offers Ivy a smile. "Ignore our friend Bee here, she's had a little bit of a rough day."

"It's no problem." Ivy says. She stands up on the ladder before leaping down from the high rung she was on. I let out a small gasp but she lands flat on her feet. She walks over and shakes Leo's hand.

"I'm Leo." He acknowledges during the gesture. By now Emma and Jordi have filed in and are standing back watch the whole scene play out. "That's Emma and Jordi." He introduces everyone.

"Nice to meet you guys." She says plopping back onto her bed which is now adorned with a black comforter and matching pillows. I glare at her.

"Um, I wouldn't get too comfy." I snap. "You still have to take all this weird stuff down."

"No I don't" She replies with a raise of her eyebrows. "That nurse said I could keep them up."

"Well _I'm _saying you have to put them down!" I exclaim.

"Look blondie," She warns getting up from her bed and marching over to me. "you may have been here first but that doesn't give you permission to act like a total bitch." My jaw drops and I step up to get in her face.

"You brat!" I shout. "You think you can just walk in here like you're some star in a vampire romance novel or something?" Leo grabs my arm and tries to pull me back but he's unstable on his crutches.

"You know Barbie, a lot of people appreciate my edgy style. If you would open your eyes and wake up from that plastic dream of your's you might realize that people actually prefer people with actual opinions than just being bubble headed whores." Oh. My. God. She did not just do that. I jump at her pulling my fist back to nail her right in the nose. Before I can hit her there are arms around my waist and Jordi is pulling me backwards. We are both shouting now over the others who are begging us to stop.

"What is going on here?" A voice rises above all the others. Everyone quiets to see Nurse Jackson and Dr. Heart standing in the doorway. I glare at Ivy and soon we are both shouting over each other trying to get Nurse J to believe our story over the other's. Finally she just snaps. "Phoebe, get out of here. I'll deal with you later."

"No way!" I argue. "This is _my _room!" She gives me a death glare and Emma takes my arm.

"Come on Bee, just let it go. Let's go for a walk." I'm dragged out of my room but I still shoot on last scowl towards Ivy who just smirks.

**Time Skip**

I'm pacing Leo and Jordi's room angrily. I can't even form coherent sentences, which is even more frustrating.

"Bee, why don't you just calm down. Do you want to go get ice cream or something?" Dash, who's just recently joined us asks.

"I don't want ice cream, I want that chick out of my room." I growl. I want to have a full out temper tantrum, right here right now. I look around for something to throw before realizing how ridiculous I'm acting. "Oh my God." I whine sliding down onto the floor. "How did this happen?"

"It's okay Bee." Leo consoles. "Maybe you'll learn to like Ivy like I've done with Jordi." Everyone chuckles but me.

"I don't think so." I mumble. "We are complete opposites, I don't think we could _ever_ get along."

"Maybe you could just give her a chance." Jordi suggests softly. Immediately a surge of jealousy takes over me. What if Ivy was right? What if I'm just some plastic, stereotypical white girl, what if everyone ends up liking her more than me? Oh man, I'm two batwings away from losing all of my friends.

"I-I need some air." I say stumbling out of The Swamp.

**Time Skip**

"Hey Bee, are you okay?" I hear a soft voice behind me. It doesn't take much to recognize the voice as Nurse Brittany's. I'm sitting in a little lobby outside of the X-ray room. I didn't think anyone would find me here, I guess I was wrong. I'm sitting behind a sofa facing a wall with my legs crossed and my head in my hands. I don't raise my gaze, hopefully if I stay super still and don't say anything she will leave me alone. Brittany takes a seat beside me, putting her hand on my thigh soothingly.

"I'm fine." I choke out. I once read somewhere that everyone hates when you say you're fine, makes sense.

"Nurse Jackson was looking for you." Brittany replies quietly.

"Don't tell her I'm here please." I squeak. I've been crying and I'm positive I look like a hot mess.

"I wouldn't be able to if I tried." She chuckles. I give her a confused look.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean," she says scooting cover as to put her arms around me in a hug. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and make sure you're okay." I hate when people see me cry because I want to be the strong girl but then again I hate when nobody notices how torn apart and broken I am. Now someone is being sweet enough to be here for me and I'm pushing them away. Typical Bee move.

"Please Britt." I beg "I just want to be alone." She takes her hand and strokes my hair gently.

"Aww Bee. I don't want to leave you alone, it's obvious that you're hurting and I'm here to talk. Maybe we can go get some ice cream or something." She offers kindly.

"I WANT TO BE ALONE! AND WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE AND ICE CREAM AROUND HERE?" I shout getting up and running down the hallway.

"Phoebe! Wait! I'm sorry, just please wait up." Brittany's voice quiets as I get farther away. I begin to wander the halls, my tear ducts empty but the knot in my throat is still present along with my mascara streaked eyes and red face. Eventually I find myself passing a nurses station. When I notice Nurse Jackson there I look straight ahead of me hoping she won't notice.

"Phoebe." I hear her voice pipe up. "Where have you been." I quickly raise up my hand towards her, continuing on my way. Thankfully she doesn't follow me, I don't think I can face anyone for a little while, I need to get myself together before I make an even bigger fool of myself.

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><p><strong>Special shout out to <strong>xoElle23 **for your super sweet review! Also I would like you all to go check out **Rosalie1316 **story "You're Going To Bend But Don't Let Them Break You." She recently had a contest for an OC to act as Jordi's ex girl friend from Mexico and I won! The character's name is Elena Cardenas and she is supposedly supposed to be a big part of the sequel Rosie is writing so make sure you keep an eye out. I also wanted to try something new which is a QOTC (question of the chapter like QOTD but with chapters) Today's QOTC is: What special traditions do you and your family celebrate on New Years? Answer in the comments below! I hope you all have a great rest of break and I promise another update soon! Lots of Love - Britt **


	14. Chapter 14: I'll Save Myself

**Hey Guys! This chapter is kind of a spacer before a lot of drama in the next few. Last night it was like I got hit by an idea truck or something so I've been spitting out chapters like crazy! You guys are going to love these next few chapters because its going to be so action packed! I'm so excited. Like I said this is just the calm before the storm so bear with me as I get everything set up for all the exciting stuff to come. I tried to do a majority of this chapter in Jordi's point of view because we all know that Bee has feelings for him but I wanted you guys to have little peek inside his head just to see how he feels about this whole situation. Without further hesitation here is Chapter Fourteen: I'll Save Myself.**

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><p><strong>Jordi's POV<strong>

"I-I need some air." Bee says before rushing out of the room. Everyone is silent, we are all completely shocked.

"What should we do?" Emma asks meekly.

"We should probably go and check on her" Leo answers, he's always trying to play hero. "Yo man. She just needs her space. Leave her be, she needs to cool off. If we go bother her it might just make her even more upset."

"No it won't." Leo scoffs. "It's better than just sitting here. We need to show support, even if she rejects it." Dash and Leo begin arguing with Emma trying to mediate it.

"I'm going to go find her." I speak up. "Just me."

"Jordi, do you really think that's such a good idea? Especially after what happened today?" Leo asks carefully, Emma nods alongside him.

"You told me I need to play Prince Charming and now is the best time! Let me do this," I look out at my friends. Leo exchanges glances with Emma before sighing.

"Go on." He sighs. "Text us when you find her." I nod before getting up to go find her.

**Time skip**

I've probably been searching for 20 minutes now with still no luck, I'm starting to get nervous. I've already stopped to ask Kenjii and Nurse Jackson if either of them have seen her but they haven't. I guess Nurse Jackson's been searching too. I come up to the X-ray room where Brittany is pacing nervously.

"Have you seen Bee?" We both ask at the same time. "No that's why I'm asking you." We both say again.

"She was just here a minute ago!" Brittany cries. "I sat down with her and just asked if she wanted to talk or get ice cream and then she ran off! Nurse Jackson is going to kill me, she already thinks I can't do anything right this is just going to push her over the edge."

"Woah, Brittany, calm down. I'm pretty sure Nurse Jackson isn't going to kill her. I've just started looking, you have a whole nother set of eyes to help you! Just don't worry okay? I'll text you when I find her." I tell Brittany. She takes a slow breath.

"Okay, I'm going to keep searching." She walks off down a hallway, wringing her hands nervously. There's only one last place I can think to check.

**Time skip.**

"We all knew you would be here." I chuckle approaching the secluded table Bee is sitting at in the Cafeteria. She tilts her head so her hair is covering her face.

"How's that?" She asks. She sounds normal but I can tell she is just trying to cover up for her disheveled appearance.

"Ice cream is your best friend when you're sad." I laugh sitting down across from her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She let's out a small laugh. I slowly reach across to brush the hair out of her face. "Oh God Jordi I look awful." She whines bringing her hands up to cover her face. I laugh and pull them away.

"You look beautiful, as always." I charm getting a small smile out of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

"Everyone's been looking for you. I'm just the lucky one who actually found you." I grin.

"I didn't think anyone would care that much." She mumbles.

"That's so not true." I laugh. "Brittany was almost in tears she felt so awful."

"Oh man now I feel bad." She cries.

"Don't. I'll text everyone to tell them I found you." I say pulling out my phone.

"I don't want anyone to see me like this." She moans.

"I said I'd text them to tell them I found you, not WHERE I found you." I reply with a wink. This gets a small smile from Bee. I'm so happy that the awkwardness is behind us but now I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells to try and impress her. She's a closed book, I never really know what she's thinking. I hit the send button and look back up at Bee.

"You wanna talk?" I ask carefully

"To them?" She scoffs. "No way. But to you, I guess I can make an exception." If someone telling you they'd rather talk to you over anyone else doesn't make you smile I don't know what does. I lean forward listening carefully. She is quiet for a moment pondering what to say. "I don't like my roommate." She finally states blankly. I kind of expected more from her but regardless baby steps are as good as any

"Me either." I roll my eyes. Something in her face changes and she's smiling at me again.

"You don't?" She asks

"No, she's got an attitude and acted like a complete brat to you earlier." I answer trying to play to her side. "Some first impression huh?" I scoff.

"You don't think I was too hard on her?" She asks sadly.

"No way!" I exclaim. "She got what she deserved."

"I've just never really been a mean person before, I was so embarrassed for you guys to see me like that, that's why I ran off." She lowers her head.

"I wouldn't be embarrassed." I console. "I know I was surprised seeing you like that but your outburst showed there's more to you than what meets the eye. You're a mystery Phoebe Johnson. As intriguing as it is, I want to know everything about you. I've never been very good at puzzles" Oh God I'm rambling now. I shake my head. "Sorry I just got so off topic."

"No, thank you." Bee smiles. "I know sometimes I can be kinda, under-wraps but this is all such a new experience for me. It's going to be tough to learn how to open up and let others in. I've always been so used to being there for others that I don't know how to act when the opposite occurs." She stammers a little bit, obviously this is one of those occasions she is trying to open up, I just have to be patient. It's weird, I have this sense of admiration aside from my crush to watch her overcome her obstacles. I've never felt this way before but I think it just makes me like Bee even more.

"Don't worry okay. I'm here to help you through this. Just consider me your Prince Charming." I give her a smile but she doesn't return one. She is silent for a moment but I can tell something is trying to force her way out of her mouth.

"Here's the thing though Jordi." She finally sighs. "I don't want anyone to 'save' me. I want you guys to stand by my side as I save myself." I take this statement in slowly. There's so much meaning behind it I know that it's not something she's just come up with off the top of her head, it's something she's been wanting to say for a while. Before I can say anything in reply Bee's gaze turns to the other side of the room. I follow her stare to see Nurse Jackson marching over towards us.

"Oh man." Bee groans tilting her head again so her hair is in her face again.

"Phoebe." Nurse Jackson scolds before sighing. "Jordi, do you mind leaving Bee and I alone to talk please." I look over to Bee who immediately looks anxious. I reach over the table to pat her hand.

"It'll be okay Bee. Just text me when you're done and we will meet up." I get up slowly from the table but as soon as I'm out of the cafeteria I take off back to The Swamp.

**Bee's POV**

Oh man oh man oh man. Nurse Jackson takes a seat where Jordi was previously.

"Look," I say without raising my gaze from the white table. "I'm really not in the mood for a lecture."

"I'm not going to lecture you Phoebe." Nurse Jackson replies quickly.

"Wait, you're not?" I ask snapping my gaze up.

"No Bee. I'm not going to lecture you. As hard as it is to believe, I genuinely do care about you just like every kid here. I want to check with you to make sure you're alright, not to yell at you about your actions." This surprises me. All along Nurse J has been an authoritative figure, I always thought that she was only around to keep us in line, to enforce the rules. I never really believed anyone when they told me she wasn't actually a scary bitch. Maybe she does have a soft side after all, I like it. I wonder if she has any kids, she'd probably make a great mom.

"I don't know what happened." I admit quietly. "I've never lost control like that before, I feel like an idiot."

"I know you didn't want a roommate Phoebe but I didn't expect you to lash out like that." Nurse Jackson admits sadly.

"There's just something about her that rubs me the wrong way! I have no idea what it is though." I answer in truth.

"Well you better find out soon because Dr. Heart called a meeting with both of you."

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><p><strong>I hope you all see what I meant when I said this is just a set up for the chapters to come. Tell me what you guys think about the different points of view, I know I've tried to do this in some previous chapters but I never really knew if it was a good idea or not. Also in the last chapter I talked about doing QOTC so this chapter's question is: Do you guys think Bee and Ivy should be friends or not? Let me know below you guys' opinions!<strong>

** Lots of Love - Britt **


	15. Chapter 15: Stereotypes

**Alright Guys! This is where the story starts to get exciting! I'm going back to trying to post on Mondays and Wednesdays now so keep checking back for new updates. In this chapter we finally begin to see Bee reveal her true self. If you guys think this is even the slightest bit dramatic just wait for next chapter, you guys are going to love it! Hopefully the anticipation is killing you guys so I'll stop talking. Happy Reading ;)**

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><p>"Oh no, oh no. Nurse Jackson I can't go in there." I murmur. My anxieties begin to peak, I'm already embarrassed by my actions but I'm kind of a more in the heat of the moment girl then dragged out confrontation. "Do I have to go?" I beg. This should become my catch phrase I use it so often.<p>

"Yes baby you do, and you're little game of hide and go seek has put Dr Heart at least 10 minutes behind schedule. We should probably be on our way now." We both get up from the table and hustle to Dr Hearts office. I feel like I'm going to pass out I'm so nervous. I can't face Ivy again, I don't want to.

"Nurse Jackson, why can't we just put all of this stuff behind us?" I plead. "I don't understand why we have to involve Dr. Heart."

"I know you don't like her Bee but there comes a time when you need to face your problems head on. It's obvious to both Dr. Heart and I that the tension between you and Ivy runs much deeper than just some social differences." We are outside of the office now and Nurse Jackson places her hand gently on my back leading me in. The one leather chair that is normally in front of Dr Hearts desk has divided into two smaller armchairs facing each other. Ivy sits in one with her arms crossed and the hood of her black sweatshirt over her head.

"Nice to see you finally make an appearance Ms. Johnson." Dr Heart acknowledges me immediately. Ivy shoots me a glare but I've taken on the neutral appearance that this room brings out in me. I'm standing right beside the chair facing Ivy but I hesitate to sit down.

"Go on Hun." Nurse Jackson whispers in my ear. I slowly take a seat while Dr Heart dismisses Nurse Jackson. The creaking of the door signifies the beginning of another a session in Hell. I stare right above Ivy's head not making eye contact with anyone. My back is stiff and straight, hopefully this doesn't take too awfully long. Dr Heart clears her throat snapping both Ivy and I's attention over to her.

"I do hope you both will act civil throughout this meeting." She states clearly. I can feel Ivy's glare burning holes in me.

"I will, however I can't speak for my counterpart over here. She does seem to have a bit of an attitude and a lack of control over her emotions." Ivy snickers. I take and slow breath holding my tongue. This is going to be a long session. Dr. Heart doesn't acknowledge Ivy's rude remark.

"Now obviously you both are aware of why you're here. What ever disagreements that are between you two needs to be resolved. You both do realize you're roommates right?" She asks rhetorically. I say nothing, as usual and surprising neither does Ivy. Dr Heart continues. "Being roommates means that you will spend a lot of time together. The two of you being here for the same treatment means even more time together, group sessions, workshops, and much more. You're going to have to learn how to get along or this tension will make getting better even harder." She sighs. "Ivy I'd like you to tell me your account of what happened earlier."

So Ivy dives into this story about how she was just peacefully putting up her decor and settling in when I came barging in messing up her funksway or whatever. I began shouting at her and making rude comments when she was being nothing but courteous to me. Soon she felt she had no other last defense but to argue back, not only sticking up for herself but also her side of the room. Thats about all she says before Dr. Heat turns to me.

"Phoebe would you like to explain your side of the story?" She asks politely. Ivy totally just made me look like the bad guy but continuing with my neutral responses I answer Dr. Heart.

"That's about it." I mumble and she eyes me questioningly.

"So you wouldn't like to defend your actions, according to what Ivy has said the situation doesn't exactly play to your favor." Dr Heart taunts. A spew of words want to force their way out of my mouth. I can tell Dr. Heart sees them sitting right on my tongue, she's trying to draw them out of me but I remain silent and just shrug. "As usual your lack of participation is overwhelming. This means I'm going to have to take Ivy's words as true if you don't choose to counter them." Again, she's daring me to speak up, putting words in my mouth I just want to spit back out. Ivy is snickering on her side of the room.

"I have nothing else to say." I mumble through gritted teeth.

"This is your last chance Miss Johnson." She states hoping to get one final strike at me but I say nothing. She spies me scornfully before turning in her swivel chair to retrieve something behind her. She hands Ivy a notebook identical to the one I have.

"What's this?" She asks inspecting the book.

"Your journal. As I've told Phoebe you will use this for various exercises and for personal writing. You are expected to keep up with it to use in therapy or appointments with me, a concept Miss Johnson has yet to grasp." She scolds giving me another look, Ivy smirks while Dr. Heart is not looking but she quickly turns back around to address Ivy again so her amusement is short lived.

"In fact," Dr Heart continues with a faked enthusiasm "you will be using it right now." I can't hold back my own smirk at Ivy's misfortune but this time Dr Heart catches me, go figure. "I wouldn't be too smug Phoebe, Nurse Jackson was kind enough to bring me your's earlier." She hands me my notebook with an accusing look that clearly portrays her knowledge of my lack of writing. She gives Ivy and I both pens to write with before giving us our prompt.

"Alright I would both like you to write a reason why you believe the argument earlier occurred or a problem you may have with the other.

"Why can't we just say it aloud?" Ivy snorts.

"Because," Dr Heart replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "One must think before they speak, writing before you speak is an even better form of doing so." Ivy huffs and we both scribble in the nearly lined paper.

_I don't like her._

I look up from my notebook. Ivy is still feverishly writing in her book.

"Done already Phoebe?" Dr Heart retorts. I raise my eyebrows, holding up my notebook haphazardly in reply. We wait for what seems like ages as Ivy finishes. When she finally releases the pen into her lap I have to snap out of the dazed state I've fallen in.

"Are we ready to start?" Dr Heart asks again not getting an answer. She clears her throat. "Alright, Ivy you go first. Please read us what you've written down."

Ivy holds up her notebook and begins to read. "Coming into a hospital I wouldn't exactly expect to make friends, in general I wouldst either but that's beside the fact. When I was finally well enough to move out of the ICU into the residential ward I was told I would need to make at least a few friends for my recovery to occur smoothly. When they told me that my roommate was about my age and with the same disorder I felt like that would at least be a start. So flash forward to earlier today. I was hanging up my Moi Dix Mois poster when I hear a commotion. You're already aware of the occurrence so I'll skip through the technical parts. So anyway I'm greeted by this blonde, preppy girl who was supposed to be my roommate. I couldn't help but wonder if this girl was really the Phoebe Johnson I expected to board with. The one who's sister and father died in a car crash and who slit her wrists in an attempt to escape the grief that swallowed her whole." A wave of anger crashes over me at the fact this girl knows everything about me and my case. What ever happened to patient confidentiality? Ivy turns to face me and I shoot her a glare.

"You see, Phoebe. I know everything about you without even having a single legitimate conversation." That's it. The stitches that have been keeping my mouth shut tear open and I roll my eyes.

"Oh you do now?" I scoff. "I'd love to hear _exactly _what you think you know about me." Dr. Heart gives me a look.

"Miss Johnson it is not your turn to talk." She reprimands me.

"No," Ivy speaks up with a sneer. "I'd love to." She stares me down a moment before continuing. "Based off of your overwhelming confidence I would guess you as a Leo. That means you were born in August. Also based on your lighter skin tone and accent I would guess you are from the Midwest. Now that's just quirky facts only I would notice." She chuckles raspily but my demeanor is hard as a rock. "Anyway, the obvious things _anyone_ could guess just by looking at you are you're the typical Pop. Long hair, thinner frame. I'd guess the athletic type, volleyball player for sure, maybe cheerleader to keep your status up. Good girl to come across but you're easily distracted by the smaller things, crushes, parties, _a broken nail_. You're type could be classified as the white girls. Your favorite restaurants are Panera Bread and Chipotle, love white mocha Fraps from Starbucks and I'm pretty sure you have at least 3 pairs of Uggs in your closet, including the ones you're wearing right now." I can't help but glance down at my Bailey Bows instilling a laugh from Ivy. "You think you're so mysterious but in all honesty you're just another stereotype, a face it the crowd or should I say Instagram search page." My jaw drops. Everything's she 's said has been true right down to the birth date and number of Uggs I have. This infuriates me, the fact that she thinks she knows me. She doesn't even know the half of it, top layer possibly but she has no right to judge me by the _stereotypes _regardless of how true they are. Especially after everything I've gone through she should know better.

"You want to talk stereotypes?" I scoff my voice raising angrily. "I'm looking at the fucking poster child for Depression! Short dyed hair, hood up over your head to detach you from the outside world. Punk rock boots and black everything. You think I'm predictable, just look in the mirror!"

"That's quite enough Phoebe!" Dr. Heart snaps.

"No!" I shoot right back. Frustration has taken grasp of my whole existence and all the words that have been forced behind my lips are breaking through. This is the most I've ever said in her office, the largest reaction I've ever revealed in her presence. The idea of her seeing me like this makes me uncomfortable given how hard I've tried to conceal my emotions but there's no going back now. "You're going to allow her to talk to me like I'm just some picture in a text book? You're going to let her to judge every aspect of me and when I FINALLY speak up you're going to chastise me and shoot everything I say down?"

"Why don't we all just take a deep breath." Dr. Heart suggests calmly. I take a glance at Ivy who is grinning smugly beneath her hood. This is exactly the reaction she wanted to get out of me. She takes a dramatic breath in response to Dr. Heart, being so compliant and obedient. _She's the perfect patient_. I shove myself out of the chair and throw my notebook down before storming out of Dr. Heart's office. She is shouting for me to come back but I hold my hands over my ears as I sprint to Jordi's room.

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><p><strong>I'm so so so excited for you guys to read next chapter. I know this one was a little long but I really wanted to dive into Bee and Dr. Heart's relationship. Obviously there's tension there that probably shouldn't be considering the Doctor - Patient relationship. It should be pretty obvious the tension between those two. I can't say much more because I don't want to spoil the next chapter but super special shout out to <strong>catluver9999 **I've definitely taken your comment into consideration for the rest of the plot. As usual I am astounded by all the support you guys give me, you all are the best. **

**Lots of Love - Britt **


	16. Chapter 16: Lies

**Hey Guys! Get ready for the craziest chapter ever. Just a quick side not, this chapter in pretty intense and may be sensitive to some readers, please only read at your own discretion. Besides that I think you guys will like this chapter a lot, very dramatic and is one of the most important ones to the rest of the story. So I got this absolutely brilliant idea while writing this okay? So what if I write the story like with three main points which obviously would be Lies, Love, and Life! So then at the end it would just be a wrap up of life in general... Hard to explain but if you catch my drift comment below if you think that's a good idea. I will probably write with those three main points as my outline now so be prepared for some _LOVE _coming up in this next section of the book. That's all I've got to say for now so start reading!**

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><p>I race to Jordi and Leo's room, carefully to stay out of the watchful eyes of nurses, keeping a particular eye out for Nurse Jackson. I hop into the service elevator quickly. As soon as the doors slide closed I feel myself begin to break, I'm shaky and my heart is beating so fast I feel like something is seriously wrong. It's not long until the doors slide open to reveal the cancer floor. This is where I'm going to have to be extremely careful, there are so many staff around it's going to be hard to not get caught, especially since I've been spending so much time down here, I'm not exactly a stranger.<p>

I'm almost there but as I near their room with the black and yellow paint over the windows I hear a voice in there talking. I don't recognize the voice but I know I've heard it often.

"I wanted to talk to you boys about something." The voice says. I slide my back against the door, careful not to make my presence known.

"Sure thing Doc. What's up?" Leo's voice asks.

"Are either you aware of the new girl who's moved into the mental illness floor?" The deep voice inquires.

"Bee?" Jordi's eager voice speaks up. I hear a small thud and I'm guessing that Leo just smacked him on the arm.

"No Jordi, Ivy. Geez get your head out of the gutter." I try to conceal my laugh.

"Yes, Ivy Porter. I believe she is sharing a room with Phoebe. Anyway I was wondering if you guys, not just you two, Emma, Dash, and even Kara or Hunter, would, I don't know, talk to her? Be a friendly face. After taking Miss Johnson under your wings I don't think this is too much to ask." Wait. Did this doctor guy ask Leo and Jordi to befriend me like he's asking them to do with Ivy? Has my friendship with them been based on some promise? I'm lost in my own thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take it out and look down at a text message from Jordi

_You're not very good at hiding. Why don't you just come in, I need to be rescued from this conversation. #BoringAboutToBeSnoring_

I quickly look into the room to see Jordi staring back at me, phone in his hand. I take a shaky breath before stepping into the doorframe.

"There's the lovely lady now!" Jordi exclaims drawing everyone's attention to me. I feel my cheeks begin to warm.

"Hi Jordi." I reply meekly.

"Phoebe, have you met Dr. McAndrew?" Leo asks. I shake my head.

"I'm one of the pediatric surgeons here." The doctor extends his hand to me forcing me to enter the room to shake it.

"I'm Phoebe." I state quietly.

"I already know who you are." Dr. McAndrew states. "I was your head surgeon when you got here. I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were a tough case Miss. Johnson, It's a good thing your aunt got you here in time otherwise things could have been a lot worse. Speaking of, shouldn't you be in a meeting with Dr. Heart?" Damn, this conversation went south fast.

"It ended a while ago." I lie.

"What are you doing down on the cancer floor? Shouldn't you be on the fifth floor?" He presses. He's obviously annoyed by my interruption whereas the boys look at me like I'm an angel sent from up above to save them.

"Bee's a good friend of our's." Leo speaks up. He must not know I've been listening in on their whole conversation. "She likes to come down here to hang."

"It's fine, actually I probably should be going back up to my room anyway. Ivy and I are going to watch Twilight together." The boys see straight through my lie and both eye me skeptically. I keep my attention on Dr. McAndrew, not able to face the prying eyes of my friends. "It was nice meeting you Doctor." I pause. "I have a feeling I'll be seeing you soon." I force myself to exit slowly and casually but as soon as I'm out of eyeshot I take off full sprint to my room.

Tears begin pooling in my eyes. Between running and sobbing I'm struggling to get enough air which is making me light headed. I don't take the elevator up to my room though. I sprint down the hallway to a big metal door hoping it is unlocked. It is.

The semi-familiar stairs in front of me disappear as I race to the top. A rush of air whips past me, the chilly December air even colder up on the high roof. This isn't like the welcome party. I have no friends to surround me, No beanbag chairs or Christmas lights. Just the hard cold concrete beneath my feet. I staggered forward a few steps before collapsing on my knees. I fumble with my purse, tears blurring my vision until I come across it. My nail clippers. I flip them open to reveal the sharp little knife with the file along the side. I borrowed these from Emma the other day, innocent enough right?

I hold the tool between my thumb and forefinger roughly slicing it across my skin. It makes scratches, even draws blood a few times but this small action is doing nothing to draw me away from the pain of what's just happened, of everything that's happened.

Everything is a lie. Everything. My friends, my family, my crush for Jordi. Oh God! That's even worse! I let my feelings get way too far ahead of me, I let myself actually think that he liked me back, that he cared. No one cares, I've just been making a fool of myself this entire time. Running around trying to make friends, pushing the past behind me, where I really needed to focus on my main goal. Being back with my family, back with Claire.

This whole idea of a hospital life, of a boarding school mixed with summer camp is just a distraction. The appointments, the doctors, the nurses, these people who are asked to be my friends, is all a distraction to keep me from doing what I'm meant to do! An obstacle in my way, blocking me from my goals! I can't believe I let myself get so caught up in these lies. It's like this weird veil of clarity has settled over me. I know what I need to do.

I try to pull myself to my feet but I'm so unstable I just fall back down. Why is the floor wet? I crawl forward slowly to the edge of the roof. Everything begins to slow down and there is a ringing in my ears. My breathing is shallow and my mouth is really dry. I have to stop every few inches because I'm so dizzy.

Finally I'm within arm's length of the raised edge of the roof. I place my hands on it, slowly beginning to pull myself up.

"Bee?" A voice shouts. I whip around to see Dash, Jordi, and Emma standing outside of the door that leads up here. Leo is behind them. "Bee stop!" Dash shouts again. He shoves Emma back inside along with Leo. "Go get help." I can faintly hear him say. I'm caught. They are going to try to stop me from, wait what was I doing again? I turn around to see the LA skyline reaching out before me. Oh yeah, I remember. I scramble to my feet, I have to move fast or else they will try to stop me and I'll be stuck here! It's so hard to move fast though. The world is spinning around me, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I climb up onto the edge and look shakily down below me. The lights are so pretty, all of the cars bustling home to see their families. I'll be with my family soon too. I raise up on my toes, poisoning myself to jump. This is it. It's like I can my family extending their arms for me to jump into. I leap into the air but I'm going to wrong way! I'm going backwards, back towards the building that's holding me prisoner..

There are arms tightly wrapped around me and we both slam to the hard concrete floor. I begin to scream.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! PLEASE LET ME GO!" I shout fighting the arms that are restraining me. My screams become mingled with sobs.

"Jordi, man!" My captor's voice shouts over mine. "I need some help over here!" Soon there is another pair of arms forcing me down. My mobility is even more diminished, fighting is getting even harder. I twist my neck up to see two familiar faces but I don't know who they are. Suddenly there is a stampede of footstep storming onto the roof and I fight against their arms to see who it is.

There are a lot of people. A dark skinned lady steps forward with a petite red headed one. She is holding a needle. Oh man I hate needles.

"No!" I cry my voice squeaking. They approach slowly and cautiously.

"It's okay Bee." The dark skinned woman with the needle consoles softly. "Don't fight it, okay baby?" There is a small shift in my captors' grips and I feel like this is my chance to escape. Instead I feel a sting in my arm and things start to go fuzzy.

My cries are quieter, things around me begin to blur and every blink I take seems to last longer and longer before I can't open my eyes anymore.

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><p><strong>Phew, insane right. Sorry if it is a little confusing but I promise everything will be explained better in the next chapter. I was absolutely amazed by all the feedback I got this week and I was so happy reading from all of you! Special shout outs to <strong>Rosalie1316 **, ** xoElle23 **, Guest, and super amazing spectacular shout out to **Hiway202 **! I'm so happy that you like my writing and that you can relate to it, it really makes me feel like I've done something to really inspire people other than just typing random words on my computer. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation but just know that I hope you feel better soon and I am always just a PM away if you ever want to talk! Again thank you all for reading and all of your love and support. Today's QOTC is pretty random but how much snow are you guys getting? I've hardly gotten any where I live but the wind chill has been so cold we already have a 2 hour delay FOR TOMORROW! I wish everyone good luck whether you're back to school or back to work, it's always tough coming back after break. Stay safe on the roads if you are in one of the more snowier place, I don't need any of my beautiful readers getting hurt!**

**Lots of Love -Britt **


	17. Chapter 17: Awake

**Hey Guys! Here's the new chapter! It's not very exciting but I wanted to give you guys a little bit of a breather after all that's happened! Anyway this chapter basically just explains in better detail what exactly happened the night on the roof and hopefully clears some things up for you guys. as many of you know there is a strong possibility that FOX will be canceling RBS :( super sad right? So if you haven't already please please PLEASE go sign the petition to keep it on air at ** p/fox-keep-red-band-society-on-the-air **it really doesn't take much and even though they ask you for your email they don't send you anything. Please spread the word and ask everyone you know to sign! Also if you are on social media be sure to use the hashtag #saveredbandsociety ! Remember this show means a lot to so many people and just one supporter could make a difference. Commercial break over, here I give you all Chapter Seventeen: Awake**

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><p>I awaken in a room that is not my own. Everything is very soft and fuzzy, my body numb. They have me on some sort of drug I know, but what's going on? I turn my head to the side slowly to see a figure sitting beside my bed playing on their phone.<p>

"Dash?" I croak. I cough a few times, why am I so hoarse? Dash gives me smile before putting down his phone.

"Hey there bumble-Bee. I didn't think you'd remember me." How could I not remember Dash?

"I remember you just fine." I attempt to say. My voice cracks to just a raspy whisper. "What happened?" He looks uncomfortable, his normally calm appearance faltering.

"Bee," he answers softly. "You tried to kill yourself." At first I'm really confused, but then everything comes flooding back to me. I cry out at the pain that begins in my head as the memories force their way back. I grab my head willing the pounding to stop. Dash reaches over to put a hand on my shoulder. "Woah, take it easy bumble-Bee. Doc said too much strain on your brain will only cause it to flare up."

"Cause what to flare up?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"You're concussion." A voice answers walking into my room. She is pretty, obviously a doctor. She has short wavy brown hair and a kind smile. Dr. McAndrew walks in beside her. "You were very lucky it wasn't something more. We can fix a concussion but with a fall like you had it could've been a lot worse." I'm so confused.

"What are you talking about? I thought, someone grabbed me before I jumped." I stutter trying to piece back what happened.

"They did, or I guess you could say he did." Dr. McAndrew says gesturing to Dash. I look at him, he saved my life. Too bad I didn't want to be saved. His heroic act almost feels like betrayal as I remember how anger I was when he snatched me."Your head trauma didn't come from you jumping from the roof. When you first got up there, we suspect you tripped and hit your head rather hard on the floor. This is estimated to have happened before you tried to cut your wrists."

"The amount of blood loss was already severe from your head trauma that the extra cuts you instilled upon yourself caused you to go into Hypovolemic Shock. That's why you may have felt dizzy, out of breath, feverish, nauseated, or confused." The woman doctor finishes. She gets an impressed look from Dr. McAndrew. I'm surprised I'm not in shock now absorbing all this information.

"How long have I been out?" I ask hesitantly.

"About 5 days." Dash replies. 5 days? Dr. McAndrew must sense my bewilderment because he speaks up.

"You see we had to sedate you to be able to calm you down enough to get you back to the hospital. Then we had to do a blood transfusion and rehydrate your body. After all that was done we need to run a lot more tests on you to make sure you were okay. We wanted to give you time to recuperate peacefully, we didn't exactly know how you would react when you woke up. You gave us all quite a scare." Well that explains the drugged feeling I'm experiencing right now. I'm silent. I have no idea how to reply to all of this, how to react. I wasn't expecting to come back to the hospital, I expected to die. Now I have to come up with an excuse for my actions and face everyone I've disappointed, including myself. I wish I could've just followed through with it.

"Did you hear him Bee?" Dash whispers in my ear, startling me. I shake my head. The brunette doctor gives a small chuckle.

"He said, I'm Dr. Grace." She replies with a smile. Dr. McAndrew's phone beeps and he glances down at it.

"I've got to take this, I'll be back in a moment." He addresses us before leaving the room.

"I've got to go too." Dash says. "I told the gang I would go get them when you woke up." This is like a stab to my heart, who did they promise now to come check on me? I lower my head sadly as I hear Dash make his way out of my room. Dr. Grace walks over beside me and sits down on the edge of my bed.

"Do you mind if I talk to you about a few things?" She asks politely. I knew this was coming but in all honestly I have no story planned out as to answer for my actions.

"I don't know." I mumble.

"I'm not going to pry if you think that's what I'm doing." She smiles. "I just want explain your situation a little better to you." She leans in to whisper in my ear. "I think Dr. McAndrew just likes to use big words to make himself look smart." This makes me laugh, or well I guess smile because my vocal chords are acting like crap.

"Okay." I tell her. She thinks a minute before continuing.

"You went into shock because of all the blood you lost, that's what Hypovolemic means. However we also found that your fluids were very low and that you've lost 9 pounds in the few days you've been here. We believe your dehydration and malnutrition helped play into your injury severely, possibly one of the reasons you collapsed and hit your head in the first place." She adjusts herself before continuing softly. "Have you been eating okay Bee?" She asks

"I mean, I guess, I don't really know. I haven't exactly been paying attention." I stutter trying to remember.

"One side effect of Depression is lack of appetite but we need to ensure you are still getting the nutrients you need. If you think it is something else you need to tell someone, we don't want you to develop any more problems while you are here." They are worried about me getting an eating disorder. Now that I think about it, it isn't such a bad idea. Slowly shrinking my portion sizes. It could be my new cutting, but with no physical marks. Heck, I'll even be skinnier! I will debate this later but until then I continue to talk to Dr. Grace

"I know I said I wasn't going to pry but, is there a certain trigger that caused you to want to do such a thing." She asks softly. Just then there is a commotion outside of my room. I look over to see all of my friends - or should I just say the Red Bands - standing outside my room arguing with Dr. McAndrew.

"Come on Dr. McAndrew. We've been waiting forever to see her." Leo begs.

"I'm sorry guys but she is really fragile right now. I can't allow you all to go in there, it might be too much stimuli for her brain."

"Please Doc?" Jordi pleads. "Just five minutes." I look at Dr. Grace whose attention has also drifted to that side of the room, but I catch her eye.

"Are they the," She begins but everyone begins to file into my room chatting. Emma's brought me flowers, Leo's got some balloons and Jordi has this huge stuffed teddy bear that her drops in my lap.

"Hey guys." I choke out.

"Hey Bee." Leo begins.

"How are you feeling?" Emma speaks up.

"I missed you." Jordi interjects. "I-I mean WE missed you." He corrects they are all talking over each other trying to make the most of their five minutes, giving me a headache. I really don't want their fake sympathy and would rather be alone.

"Hey guys, give Bee a little space, you don't want to overwhelm her." Dr. Grace suggests nicely and the room quiets down a little bit.

"We miss you." Jordi repeats but now that everyone is faced with silence no one really knows what to say. What _do _you say to someone who just tried to commit suicide? Emma talks about how they started this new project in school about The Taming of The Shrew. Leo is only excited about watching the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. Jordi doesn't really say anything else and I can't tell if he is being shy or if he is too afraid to talk to me.

The five minutes crawl by slowly by and finally Nurse Jackson is at the door.

"Alright you guys, five minutes are up. Time to say goodbye." Sadly, nobody objects, this just plays into my theory that they are all just visiting me because they have to. They all stand up and file out of the room except for Jordi.

"Get better soon okay Bee?" He says softly before following the others. Words can't describe how confused I am. My stomach still gets butterflies when he talks to me but I need to accept that it's all just an act. I lower my head sadly.

"What's on your mind Bee?" Dr. Grace asks brushing a piece of hair out of my face.

"Too much to explain." I shrug quietly. As all of these thoughts start running through my brain my head begins to pound even worse.

"How about you try to get some rest? You don't want to put too much strain on your head. Just take it easy alright?" She leans over to press a button on the machine my IV is connected to. "I'm no psychiatrist, but if you ever want to talk, you know with someone beside your friends or Dr. Heart, I'd love to."

I like Dr. Grace a lot, there's just something about her that is different from Dr. Heart. My IV begins to pump some fluids into me that make me drowsy and soon I fall asleep, unable to worry myself with any more doubts.

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><p><strong>I was absolutely astounded by the tremendous amount of support you all have given me especially on my last chapter! 5 whole reviews! Special shout outs to <strong>Hiway202 **, **xoElle23 **, **Rosalie1316 **, **BuBBles3531 **, and **loonyprincess902 **! To my new followers, I hope you all enjoy my story and I hope to hear from you all either through PM or my reviews. To my loyal readers, the people who check back every chapter and follow intensely along with Bee's story, I could never thank you enough for all of the love you have all given me. Writing this last chapter I was forced to step out of my comfort zone and was very apprehensive about writing. I was very afraid of what others may think and that my story would no longer receive the views it does. Your words of kindness and support help me to be more confident in my own writing and to push me to keep doing what I love. Without all of you, this story wouldn't even exists. That said please keep reviewing and following so that I have plenty of fresh ideas and clear knowledge of all of the people who care! You guys are all so amazing and no matter where you are in the world or no matter what you are doing right now, I want you all to know that there are people out there who care. Sure they may just be random people from the internet but they care lol! I wish you all good luck at your second week back at school or work and I'll see you all again Wednesday.**

**Lots of Love, Britt **


	18. Chapter 18: Hey There Hayden )

**Hey Guys! Here's the new chapter I promised! It's another kinda slow one but there's a lot of foreshadowing for drama to come. I added a little bit of Kara/Bee time into the mix to show you all how their relationship has evolved and as promised, I'm starting to bring in the _LOVE. _In this chapter you guys will meet Hayden, another OC made by me who will play a big part in the rest of the story. He's not sick like any of the other kids at Ocean Park so without giving too many spoilers I present to all of my lovely readers, Chapter Eighteen: Hey There Hayden ;) (wink intended)**

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><p>I'm back in my room now. Well actually it's not really my same room because it's been stripped clean of anything dangerous, which surprisingly is a lot. They gave Ivy a new room and they've managed to keep her away from me pretty well, assuming the tension between us was one of my 'triggers'<p>

I haven't seen much of the Red Banders except for that one day they came to visit. I'm totally convinced by now they are trying to avoid me, except I keep thinking I remember seeing Jordi by my bed one day playing guitar. I don't know if it was the drug induced haze I was in or a dream but I can still hear his clear beautiful voice in my head.

They've kept me under lock and key lately, I haven't been allowed to leave my room unless it was for an appointment. Even then I was still escorted to and from by a Nurse Brittany or Kenjii. I've still been meeting with Dr. Heart, sadly, as they try to figure out my 'motive' and 'triggers', that's all they seem to care about in my opinion. I don't talk to her, like before which frustrates all the doctors. I also have been extra aware of what I eat, testing out my new form of self harm. It's not hard to eat very little because I have had such a lack of appetite. They bring food to my room and I always either wrap it in tissues or flush it down the toilet. It's kinda fun to be honest. Watching mush swirl down the white porcelain toilet while the hunger pangs in my stomach grow stronger.

Today would be my third day back, I think. My concussion causes me to sleep a whole lot so I kinda lose track of the days. I was supposed to start school the Monday after last weekend. Since the incident occurred on the Friday before I never really got a chance. Now that my head is all screwed up they are putting it off even longer, saying things like too much going around me will be too overwhelming and that I won't be able to retain much anyway. I personally think they just want to keep a tight rein around me until they think I'm stable.

I'm not going to say I feel better, quite honestly I feel worse. I feel like a failure, there's nothing else to it. I hate being locked up and having all these people worry about me, I just want to be left alone to die. I know, dramatic, but still. Yet despite all of these awful feelings I have locked up inside of me, there's still that social butterfly that keeps flapping her damn wings around in my stomach and driving me nuts. I don't do isolation well, I think it's time to go on an adventure.

I swing my legs off my bed quickly which gives me a head rush. After taking a few deep breaths I get up and sneak quickly over to my door. I click on my phone to check the time. They tried to take it away from me saying that the bright screen would be too much on my head but somehow I managed to sneak it back, don't ask how. They normally come to check on me every 10 to 15 minutes. It's 1:38 right now, which means I either have 2 or 7 minutes to spare. Should I risk it? Hell, yeah.

I glance tentatively down the hallways, double checking to make sure no one is coming before taking off full sprint towards the service elevator. I make it inside without being caught, running was such an awful idea, my head feels like an earthquake just shook up my entire brain. Between this throbbing in my head, the sleek feeling of my phone in my pocket and the thrill of breaking the rules gives me this awesome adrenaline rush and I click the first random elevator button I see.

**Time Skip**

Is this supposed to be fate or is the universe just trying to punish me for escaping? Somehow I have found myself in the doorway to Kara's room, I've never been here before so I'm surprised that I've found it. She doesn't notice me at first. It must be the stupid concussion that keeps me from using common sense when I speak up.

"Kara." I greet. She doesn't even lift her gaze.

"Bee." She acknowledges, the first time I think she's ever used my real name. She doesn't even say it in a shocked way or even harshly, just as a greeting. I turn my gaze over to a young boy who is asleep in a bed next to Kara's. I slowly walk over beside him.

"Who's this little guy." I whisper reaching out gently to brush some hair out of his eyes.

"That's Charlie," She answers, her voice normal tone. "He's in a coma." My hand connect with his forehead and a bright image flashes across my mind. It's of my mother, in her own hospital bed. Her eyes are closed just like the young boy's in front of me. The vision is gone as soon as it start and I quickly draw my hand back, startled. I look down at the boy before shaking my head and walking over to where Kara sat on her bed.

I didn't dare sit beside her, I'm not that stupid. So instead I sit over on the window sill, turning to face her. She raises her eyes from her phone for a split second before addressing me.

"Is there a reason you're here?" She asks, again not in a mean way, more out of curiosity.

"Well, you seem to be the realest bitch here so why not." I snark back reflecting on when everyone pretended to be my friend her attitude towards me was genuine.

"You're telling me things I already know." She laughs. "But seriously, haven't you been under Nurse J's hawk eyes or something. For once she isn't in here every second of the day."

"Why yes Kara, I am, but one can only take the blank white hospital walls around her for so long before they go crazy." I answer sarcastically.

"You already are crazy." She states. I pause, this is true, shockingly true.

"All the best people are." I attempt quietly.

"Don't go all Alice In Wonderland on me. My nanny-turned-step-mom Disneys me enough as it is." There's something I'm seriously missing about Kara but I'm not here to pry.

"Do you have any beer?" I ask blatantly. This snaps her attention up.

"Are you serious" She exclaims and I nod. "I never thought I'd ever see Miss Goody-Goody ask me for a drink." She haphazardly throws open a drawer on her bedside table and hands me a bottle.

"How do you not get these things confiscated?" I ask snapping open the lid. I take a big gulp from the cool glass bottle and grimace. I never liked the taste of alcohol but I need something to calm my frazzled nerves since they've taken me off almost all of my medications to avoid it messing with my concussion. Kara doesn't reply to me but returns to her phone. I sit and sip at the drink quietly looking out her window absently.

Once I finish the drink I place the bottle on the window sill where I had been sitting and make my way back towards my room. My body feels warm and raw from the drink, my first whole glass of beer, but surprisingly I'm pretty stable.

"Bee," Kara stops me. I turn to face her. "If you see Hunter tell him to come find me." I nod and sneak back into the elevator, back up to the fifth floor. I'm not paying attention when I walk out though, because I bump into someone.

"Sorry!" I gasp placing my hands over my mouth apologetically before realizing who I bumped into. "Oh. Hey! Hunter, Kara was looking for you." I say taking a few steps back. The figure turns around and I realize I've made a mistake. Although the body frame and hair is super similar to Hunter's, the face is much more round compared to Hunter's square one. Also me and my weird eye fetish realize that his eyes are a gorgeous hazel. Brown-green eyes rimmed in grey-blue, mesmerizing compared to Hunter's deep chocolate ones.

"I'm actually Hayden." He laughs. Oh my God his laugh is perfect, like perfectly perfection perfect. I give a small smile as he extends his hand to me. I shake it gleefully.

"I'm really sorry, I thought you were someone else." I sigh with an embarrassed chuckle.

"It's fine, a lot of people get us confused. Me and Hunter that is." He states. My eyes widen.

"Wait are you two related?" I ask shocked. He looks somewhat uncomfortable answering, no not uncomfortable, just hesitant.

"Uh, yeah. We're brothers." He replies looking away for split second. We both kinda stand there awkwardly for a moment. He's sooo hot I'm like melting. His preppy attire at least gives me the impression he's not as much of a jerk as Hunter is.

"Sorry again." I mumble quietly lowering my gaze to hide my burning cheeks. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I know when people would get me and my sister confused I would get so mad." I ramble anxiously getting a small laugh from Hayden.

"Actually, I _am _looking for someone." He states almost as if he doesn't want me to leave. "You might know her." _Your soulmate? Yeah I know her, her name is Bee._

"Okay," I reply. "What's her name?" I ask a smile growing on my lips.

"Um something along the lines of -" He begins.

"Phoebe Johnson!" Nurse Jackson's voice shouts from down the hall. Shit.

"Oh yeah! That sounds about right." Hayden perks up. You have got to be kidding me.

"What are you doing?" She demands marching up to me. "You are not supposed to leave your room." She reprimands lowering her voice. I roll my eyes

"I was helping someone." I state crossing my arms defiantly. Her eyes drift to Hayden.

"Mr. Cole. I apologize for the inconvenience. Bee, here was _supposed _to be in her room." She remarks.

"It's no worries Nurse Jackson." He flashes her a bright smile. "In a way she found me, makes my job easier seeming I tend to get lost pretty easily." He charms.

"Omg me too!" I trill, not even 5 minutes of knowing this guy I'm already making a fool of myself. Instead of ignoring me or making the awkward situation more awkward he extends his arm to give me a high give which I have to jump to reach.

"You both are going to be late with all this goofing around." Nurse Jackson clicks her tongue.

"Late for what?" I ask dumbfounded.

"Group therapy." Nurse J answers.

"Noooo," I groan but Nurse Jackson shushes me.

"Don't worry," Hayden says putting an arm around me playfully. "You and I can have some fun together." He's flirting, he's definitely flirting with me!

"Wait a second, why are you going?" I question turning to him.

"I have a twin brother on the brink of death don't I?" He replies quietly.

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><p><strong>Bam! Yep that's right guys, Hunter has a twin brother who just happens to be as hot if not more than him! Bee is totally falling for him but in a different way than with Jordi, I'll be sure to go better into detail about her feelings in the next chapter. I hope you all took note of what happened between Bee and Charlie, even though it seems like a small occurrence it will play a big part later on. I need to shut my big mouth before I give too much away! <strong>

**Also if any of you have heard they are bringing RBS back on Jan 31 to air the last 3 episodes. I think the next date for another episode is like Feb 7th or something but they are bringing it back even if it is just to air the last three episodes :(. However, FOX still says there's . Don't forget to sign the petition at **** p/fox-keep-red-band-society-on-the-air They only need about 6,000 more signatures compare to the 7,000 they needed on Monday when I posted last. Spread the word! I hope you all have a great rest of the week, I will be off Monday so that means more time for writing! Check back soon! **

**Lots of Love - Britt **


	19. Chapter 19: Normal?

**Hey Guys! Sorry for the late chapter, between not having school Monday and everything else I've lost track of time! To make up for it I've made this chapter pretty long with plenty of _LOVE _and drama! You guys will get to see the more flirtatious side to Bee in this chapter but also "normal" side. To Bee this basically just means how she was before the accident. I hope you all enjoy! Maybe I'll post an new chapter this weekend to make up for not posting Monday.**

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><p>I guess Hayden is supposed to act as my escort to group because Nurse Jackson leaves us to find our way ourselves. I kinda hope our common trait of poor direction leaves us in a sectioned off supply closet somewhere. I know I've already gotten lost in his eyes, just a matter of time until my lips might just need a little guidance.<p>

Sadly we arrive in the group room without any delay and take two seats beside each other in the circle of chairs. There are people scattered around the room, a few picking at the refreshments at the table on the other side of the room, some stuffing their pockets with tissues for the emotional roller coasters to come. I groan.

"Have you ever been to one of these?" I turn to Hayden.

"No, but from your incredible enthusiasm I can only guess how awful this is going to be." He rolls his eyes and I give out a laugh.

"I don't know," I begin testing the water. "This might be somewhat bearable with a cutie like you beside me." I side glance at him to see how he reacts. I'm greeted with a bright smile, a small twinkle in his eye.

"I couldn't agree more." He states making me blush. A woman clears her throat and everyone takes seats around the room.

"Hello everybody, my name is Harper. I hope you all have come prepared with your notebooks, if not then who cares I'll just give you a piece of paper." She let's out a hearty chuckle. She's young, late twenties early thirties with plain brown eyes, shoulder length length brunette hair and big oval sunglasses perched on her head.

After passing out pens and paper to those who need it she settles back in her seat. "Alright so I know some of you already have been instructed to write feelings and other stuff in here." She gestures with her hands. "But I personally think that's stupid, so I've come up with some fun writing prompts for us to do! Who knows, some of you may be poets and you don't know it, or just like deep but your creativity is asleep." She laughs again before scrolling through her phone. "Alright first things first, I want you all to write an introduction. Introduce yourselves."

"This is so stupid." I whisper to Hayden flipping open my notebook.

"I don't know, maybe it could be fun? At least we don't all have to sit and talk about our feelings." True, true. I lift my pencil and think a moment before writing.

"Alright," Harper speaks up after a moment. "Anyone care to share what they wrote?" No one volunteers. "You're all chickens." She giggles before eyeing the crowd. Her gaze lands on me. "Phoebe! Why don't you share your's!" She exclaims. I force myself not to let out an audible groan as I read from my notebook reluctantly.

"My name is a Phoebe Johnson, but everyone just calls me Bee. I'm almost fifteen and a half so technically I'm fifteen and a fourth if you like to do math, which I do not." I finish, getting a laugh from everyone, even Hayden. I crack a smile because I didn't really intend for my statement to be funny.

"Very good!" Harper cries. "Thank you for sharing with us Bee."

The rest of the meeting is uneventful, a few more people introduce themselves but no one is really around Hayden and I's age. Harper's given us all a list of writing prompts to 'inspire' us or something and sets us loose to write freely. We have to have at least three put together before the next meeting. Surprisingly a few are kinda intriguing, but not as much as Hayden. We talk for the rest of the meeting, pretending to discuss topic ideas when Harper would come around.

Turns out he's not much older than me, a little over 16, which I probably should've know considering him and Hunter are twins. He plays soccer and baseball and is on his Class Committee which I can compare to my Student Council. There are a few flirtatious comments made here and there but mostly we just have a great time.

"How come Hunter's never said anything about you?" I ask wiggling my pencil in front of me. His face falls making me instantly regret asking.

"We aren't very close." He states looking away sadly.

"What happened?" I ask without even thinking. Damn concussion. Hayden chews on his bottom lip a moment.

"Something happened when we were kids.. Ever since nothing's really been the same between us. I even convinced my parents to apply me to a private school just so that we could be even farther apart." His voice breaks for a second but he plays it off as he's just clearing in throat. "Now I regret missing out on all that time we could've spent together." He blinks hard a few times before shaking his head and giving me another bright beaming smile.

A shock comes over me, we are just alike. I know the art of fake smiling anywhere and it's obvious he's doing it now, hiding what's really eating him alive inside. I'm about to pry on the topic even more but after forcing my brain to slow down and think I know that's not what I would want someone to do to me.

"I feel the same way with Claire, except I don't have the opportunity to make things right like you do." I comment softly. Hayden's eyes soften with sympathy as he reaches out to touch my shoulder.

"She's already gone?" He asks gently. I nod as he pulls me into a hug. He smells amazing, and I take a deep breath into his scent before pulling away. "I'm sorry Bee." He says.

"I've heard more of those three words this past month then in my entire lifetime." I state with a dry chuckle. "Don't worry about it. I don't like to dwell on the past too much."

"Then being in all these groups and therapy sessions must kill you." Hayden comments.

"Yeah." I scoff. "That's for sure."

After the meeting I ask him if he wants to come hang out for a little bit in my room before he has to go meet the rest of his family. He accepts, luckily my room is actually clean for once. We both scatter our stuff on my floor, throwing pillows off my bed to sit on.

"We should probably do a few of these prompts considering we got nothing done during that meeting." Hayden laughs.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I smile back pulling out the list Harper gave us. After scanning through the paper I peek up at Hayden. "Okay. What about this one?" I say. "Write about your first _love._" I dramatize and we both laugh. I set a timer on my phone for 3 minutes, then we both start writing furiously. The alarm rings and I let out a slow breath.

"You first!" Hayden shouts beating me to the chase.

"Darn!" I exclaim before sighing and reading from my notebook with a few added in dramatizations. "My first love: Toby Lee in 6th grade. Oh man he was an absolute heart-throb. Still is. With his blonde softly spiked hair, ice blue eyes and chiseled jaw line any preteen girl would be cooing all over him. He was the Zack Effron of Mrs. Ellis's 6th grade class. I was the lucky one who got to be his girl, that is until he started ditching me on the playground for Lexi Owens. I ended that real quick, but not before I stole his kiss virginity."

"That's awful Bee!" Hayden laughs rolling over. "You little lip slut! And in elementary school too-boot!" He exclaims.

"Hey!" I shout chucking a pillow at him playfully. "So how old were you when you had _your _first kiss?" I ask, this is actually another prompt on Harper's list but neither of us bother writing it down.

"4th grade." He replies without hesitation before eyeballing me suspiciously. "What about you?" He asks as my cheeks grow warm.

"I may have stolen Toby Lee's kiss virginity but that doesn't mean he took mine. By then I was halfway an expert. Sure Toby was my first love but that doesn't mean that I didn't have other "Boyfriends" in my elementary school days." I state laughing lightly at the memories beginning to surface.

"Phoebe!" Hayden gasps. "Please do spill about the love life of your youth!" He laughs.

"Well, my first kiss was Elliott Howell in third grade. I guess you could say I got the cooties virus at a young age, my friends would always tell me I'd be the first to get Herpes too. That kiss didn't end up being a bad thing though. Little Eli went around to all of his buddies telling them that I was the best kisser ever and next thing you know I was locking lips with Jake Bates under the swirly slide." Hayden is absolutely hysterical by now.

"Oh my gosh Bee! You've gotten around quite a bit on that playground." I laugh with him now, my head hurting a little from doing do but I ignore the dull ache.

"Hey, experience is experience and I've become quite a pro if I do say so myself." I claim locking eyes with him for a moment. He bites his lip and lowers his gaze before drawing a little bit closer to me.

"Maybe I could learn a few things from a master like yourself." He says softly.

"Possibly," I murmur before his hand finds my face and gently pulls me towards him. His lips are soft and gentle as we touch. This is my time to show off I guess. I intertwine my hands into his hair and feel our lips begin to move in sync. He catches on quick and although he played dumb earlier, it's obvious he knows what he's doing.

There is electricity buzzing around us, and I feel dizzy, in a good way. This kiss transports me back to when things were normal, when making out with a guy was more of a hobby than a lifeline. He pulls me back to normalcy, back to what I'm missing. There's no other way to say it except that I feel like my actual self with him. That fun, popular, flirty girl begins to emerge instead of cowering in the corner of my old life before everything happened.

We finally pull away slowly, him resting his hands on the back of my neck pulling my forehead forward to lean onto his as we both slowly catch our breath. He smiles at me gently, his slips sliding apart to perform the action.

"How's that for a lesson?" He sighs.

"I think you were a much better teacher than I was." I give a small grin. Ours eyes connect once more and we are about to kiss again when we hear someone clear their throat at the entrance of my room.

"Jordi," I gasp gaping up at him. How long has he been standing there? I quickly get up from me seat beside Hayden and rush over to him. "I didn't expect anyone to come visit." I state sadly.

"I'm not here to visit you." He answers coldly. "Nurse Jackson sent me, it's your mom." He finishes his voice taking on a more concerned tone. My stomach jumps into my throat as I push Jordi aside and race down the hallway to a nurses station where Nurse Jackson is waiting. Beside her, my crying aunt.

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><p><strong>Oh boy! Lots of drama! So basically Jordi just walked in on Bee making out with Hayden, which is obviously going to cause some tension. On top of that embarrassment she gets the news something bad has happened to her mom, aka her only surviving family member whose been in the Hospital (not Ocean Park) since the accident. I'm not going to spill too much about it but instead today's QOTC is: Are you guys pro Haydee (BeeHayden) or Beedi (Bee/Jordi) Haha sucky couple names I know but I really want to hear you guys' opinions! Let me know. Also I'm ruining low on some ideas so please please please PM me or comment any ideas you all may have.**

**Lots of Love: - Britt **

**P.s. Special shout outs to **Hiway202 **, **Rae-bear **, **RbsCdc **, and **Love2liveurlife **! You guys are amazing! **


	20. Chapter 20: Deal or No Deal?

**Hey Guys! So I felt really bad about not posting on Monday and I have some really good chapters lined up that I want you all to read. This chapter isn't one of my favorites, I'll be honest, but just like all my other "bad" chapters, it's setting up for excitement to come! I'll leave it at that for now, happy reading!**

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><p>"Tante Tess." I whisper in a harsh voice rushing up to her. "What happened?" She takes one glance at me before breaking down again, covering her face with her hands bawling. "Aunt Tess!" I whisper a little louder. "What happened!" I grab hold of her and begin shaking her shoulders trying to release her from her suffocating tears. "Tell me Tante Tess! What happened? What the Hell happened?" My voice raises. She sobs even harder.<p>

"Stop crying, you're making yourself look like a fool! Are you seriously going to let everyone see you like that? You're such a baby just tell me what happened!" I don't even realize I'm screaming until I'm faced with silence.

There's a gentle hand on my arm and I whip around to face Nurse Jackson. "Come here baby." She says pulling me aside.

"What's going on?" I ask still shouting. Nurse Jackson takes a deep breath.

"Bee, your mother slipped into a coma last night." She states softly. "They expect it to only get worse from here." This hits me hard like a brick to my throat. Then anger takes hold of me and I lash out at Nurse Jackson.

"What do you mean she's in a coma? Why am I just now being told this? She MY mother!" I shout. My eyes have been glaring so hard at anything and everything that tears begin to pool in them. I'm not sad, I don't feel like crying. I'm angry and I want to break stuff.

"We are just now getting this information." Nurse Jackson states calmly.

"That's a lie!" I scream. "You've known all along, so why are you just now telling me?" I've called her bluff because Nurse Jackson glances away just slightly for a moment regain her composure.

"You've been, unstable lately. We did what we thought would be best to help you recover smoothly. You don't need any more stress than what you are already under. It's not good for your head and we wanted to just take things slow."

"That's bull! She's my mom, the only family member I have left, and you've kept me from her!" My voice begins to break making me even more angry. I don't want to cry, my aunt looks so stupid crying I refuse to do it myself. I snap my gaze up to Nurse Jackson quickly. "I want to see her." I state. Automatically I can tell she's against it.

"Bee, honey, that's probably not a good idea at the moment. Why don't you just stay here and spend some time with your friends for a bit or get some rest and we can see what we can do about getting you some visiting hours with your mom another time." She's trying to distract me, deter me from going to see my mom. I won't fall for it.

"I have no friends here!" I exclaim. "And I'm not just going to sit around an-and wait while my mom gets worse and worse! You can't do this to me! I need to see her Nurse Jackson, I need to!" My emotions are getting the better of me as my eyes begin to leak and my speech becomes shaky.

"This is what is best for right now. Come on, let's go find someone to keep you company." She consoles softly putting her arm around me and leading me away from the scene. She doesn't leave me any room to argue since we are already making our way towards another room. I can't help it but I begin to sob into her shoulder.

**Time skip**

"Bee," I hear a voice cry and there are instantly arms around me embracing me. "What happened?" My vision is so blurred that I can hardly make out Emma's soft features. I look around. We are in Leo and Jordi's room, everyone is gathered, minus Hunter who I'm assuming already left to go out with his family.

Nurse Jackson clears her throat and ushers the group into the hallway. Emma walks me over to Leo's bed, sitting me down before following the crew out to the hallway. I use this time to compose myself, wiping under my eyes and pressing my cold hands to my face in hopes of lessening the red heat that's taken over them.

I watch silently as shock begins to take over the Red Bands' faces as Nurse Jackson explains the situation. Dash shakes his head sadly, while Leo intertwines his fingers in Emma's. Even Kara seems to show a little remorse as she lowers her head. I have to force myself to look at Jordi who is stiff, his hands straight at his side, eyes directly in front of him. A lump grows in my throat, it feels like guilt or longing but I know any feelings from before were all based on some forced friendship.

Nurse Jackson finishes and they all file back into the room. "Bee, honey, I want you to stay here with your friends. Don't be alone, please. It's for the best." She takes one last sad look at me before wandering out of the room. Everyone stands looking at me, no one knowing what to say.

"You've had it rough bumble-Bee." Dash begins making his way to sit beside me. I shake my head, pushing myself up and away from them.

"Look," I start coldly. "You guys don't have to do this."

"Do what?" Leo asks confused.

"Pretend to be my friend. I already know Dr. McAndrew asked you all to do this and believe me when I say I don't want your pity." Emma's jaw drops.

"What are you talking about Bee?" She asks baffled.

"Don't play dumb." I scoff.

"I'm not!" She exclaims. "This is ridiculous! Where did you even get this idea?"

"From our meeting." Jordi finally speaks up. Everyone turns to look at him.

"What meeting?" Leo says

"The one where Dr. McAndrew asked us to befriend Ivy. Bee overheard all of it." Jordi explains to Leo. A sense of realization washes over Leo's face as he begins to shake his head dramatically.

"Oh no, Phoebe! You thought that's what we were doing with you?" He cries. I just cross my arms and shrug. "That's not it at all. I became friends with you after you handed me that fruit cup." He laughs. "Not because Dr. McAndrew asked me to."

"Yeah, and I became friends with you when you got lost trying to find your room." Emma explains. "NOT because Dr. McAndrew told me to."

"I've never been friends with you." Kara scoffs causing me to laugh.

"One thing I can always count on is your brutal honesty Kara." I say.

"Well unlike Kara, I'm friends with everyone, including you bumble-Bee." Dash declares. Everyone spoken their peace except for Jordi. We all look to him expecting him to say something but he avoids our gazes and stays silent.

"Well," I start after the awkward silence. "If you guys truly are my friends, you'll have to prove it." A plan begins to take shape in my mind.

"Anything Bee." Emma says eagerly. I look at each of them declaring that I mean business.

"Take me to see my mom." I answer clearly. They all look at me shocked before Leo steps up to put a consoling hand on my shoulder.

"Phoebe, Nurse Jackson said you need to stay here. Why don't we go get some ice cream? That always makes you feel better." I tilt my head to the side and give him a disapproving look.

"I don't want ice cream." I enunciate clearly, which is a lie, I always want ice cream. "My offer stands, take me to go see my mom, or I'll go myself."

"What is this, some sort of business meeting or something?" Dash laughs. I shoot him a glare.

"If by that, you are asking if I mean business? Then yes it is." I snap my attention back over to Leo. "So what's it going to be?" We stare each other down for a few moments and the room is tense with our silence. We're both alphas, dominant personalities, natural born leaders, but sometimes you just need to accept the fact that girls are always right. Leo finally breaks away from our stare down and sighs.

"Dash get the keys."

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><p><strong>Thanks again for all of the reviews and love. I'm thinking once I hit 50 reviews I'll post a page from Bee's journal with prompts sent in BY YOU GUYS! So please be sure to send in plenty of ideas with anything you want you know about Bee. They could be anything from what her favorite color is to something a little more deep like what are her dreams. I can't wait to hear what you all have to say! Special shout outs to <strong>xoElle23 **, **Ravenclaw-or-Gryffindor **, **Cinderella **, **SopherGopherroxursox **, and **percyjacksonforevah **! You're review had me laughing for probably 20 minutes! **

**Lots of Love - Britt 3**


	21. Chapter 21: The Endless Cycle

**Hey Guys! Here's Monday's new chapter! I want you all to know that I take time to read every single comment or review you all give me and I try to play around with what you guys want to see and also what is going to create drama and keep the story moving. Again I am going to say this but once I get to 50 reviews I will post a page from Bee's journal featuring questions sent in by you! So keep reviewing! With all of that aside this is one of my favorite chapters and I think you guys will love it too! Enjoy! :)**

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><p>I walk up to reception counter, everyone else lingering behind me in the waiting room. The woman working glances up at me, taking note of all the misfits who just walked in.<p>

"Do you need a doctor?" She asks startled. I shake my head quickly.

"No, no. These are my friends. I'm actually here for visiting hours." I state. I'm hoping they are still open because I'm totally just going out on a limb. The receptionist let's out a breath of relief and gives me a warm smile.

"Oh of course. Who are you looking for?"

"Ann Johnson. She could also be under Ann Holmes, it's her maiden name." She types into her computer before giving me a wary look.

"I'm sorry but only immediate family members are allowed to visit and it says here the only one she has is her sister Tess." She tells me.

"I'm her daughter." I interrupt, the words spilling out of my mouth. The receptionist's jaw slides open a little bit as she gives me another suspicious look, shaking her head slightly.

"I'm sorry but Mrs. Johnson's daughter passed away."

"That's Claire. I'm Phoebe." I remark desperately. A flip switches in the woman's brain as she straightens up.

"If you'll excuse me I need to make a phone call. Please make your friends and yourself comfortable in the waiting room and I'll be right back." She shuffles out from behind the counter and pulls out her phone, wandering down the hall to find some privacy. This is my chance.

I hop up onto the desk so that my stomach is on top of the counter and I can read the computer screen. Room 453. I push off the desk and start racing down the hallway. I hear my friends following behind me, Leo's crutches clicking so fast I'm almost afraid he'll fall. I count down the room numbers as I pass.

"456,455,454, 453, 452." I stop dead in my tracks and backtrack slowly. I peek into the room and see my mom sleeping peacefully. My breath catches. I haven't seen her in so long. I place my hand over my mouth and hesitantly walk over to her bed.

She's so pale and weak looking. My mom and I are both pretty fair skinned but now her complexion is almost translucent. I take a seat beside her bed as a small smile begins to form on my face. I've missed her so much.

"Mom," I say gently. I expect her eyes to flutter open like in those movies we used to always watch but they remained closed.

"Mommm," I raise my voice a little bit. "Guess who it is." Nothing. She remains still, her breathing even. My anxieties start to grow but I keep trying.

"It's me, Bee. Don't you want to say hi? Mom quit messing around and wake up. I can't stay long, I uh, kinda snuck in here so we gotta make this quick." That'll get her for sure, the idea of me breaking the rules always makes her freak out. I watch her intently for any reaction, any at all, but there is none.

I feel a lump grow in my throat and I reach over to brush a piece of hair out of her face. Her skin is cool and smooth, just like the boy Charlie's. I can't help but wonder if he had something to do with this. No, that's silly, he couldn't have.

"They're telling me you're in a coma." I state beneath my breath. "I know it's not true. Tell me it's not true mom!" I stare at her, my eyes pleading for her to do something, anything. There's a long moment of silence before the lump forming in my throat grows larger and I choke out a sob. Reality overcomes me like a wave, knocking me down and threatening to keep me underwater drowning.

"No! Mom wake up! Please! This can't be happening right now, wake up mommy please! Please mom you can't do this to me." I pause my emotions overwhelming me. "You're all I have left." I'm hiccuping now struggling to catch my breath, there a small tap on my arm and I see Emma hesitantly trying to get my attention.

"Bee, we have to go." She urges gently.

"I'm not ready yet!" I cry. I can't leave her here, what if she's gone by tomorrow, this could be the last time I ever get to see my mom and it's being cut short after less than 5 minutes

"Bee, we've got to go, like now!" Kara urges leaning out the room glancing down the hallway. Emma grabs my arm and drags me out of the room.

"Don't go anywhere okay mom? Please don't go anywhere! Don't leave me!" I'm about out of the room when I almost forget the most important thing I've been meaning to tell her. "I love you!" I glance down the hallway where Kara was looking to see nurses going around checking rooms. One comes out of 456 and makes direct eye contact with me.

"Guys," I say under my breath. "Run." We all take off in a sprint down the opposite hallway. We make a few sharp turns before we see an elevator up ahead. We race towards it and I click the button repeatedly because we all know that makes the elevator come faster.

Finally there's a little ding and the doors slide open. There's already someone in there. Nurse Jackson.

"Phoebe..." She scorns. When she notices my tear streaked face and bloodshot eyes she gives out an exasperated sigh. "Get in here. All of you. We're going back." We all pile into the elevator not saying a word, our escape attempt failed.

Nurse Jackson is furious when she finds out we snuck out of the hospital to come here, even more so when she hears all six of us squeezed into a five seater car.

"Bee, Jordi, and Dash. You guys are with me. Kara, you drive Leo and Emma. DON'T be stupid." She marches off towards her car with Dash, Jordi, and I in tow. Dash sits up front, Jordi and I in back. I lean my head back against the headrest on chair, focusing my eyes out the window watching as the scenery whips by.

I have so much going on in my head right now I'm overwhelmed. My mom, in a coma? She could never wake up. I could never see her smile again or hear her sweet voice sing along with me in the car. I could never again watch the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed or see the quiet pride she possessed when I achieved something that made her proud to be my mom.

There's only ever been a few of those moments, I always worked so hard to experience another. The moment when she would give me this smile, and put her arm around me. To anyone else these small actions would just seem like a normal gesture, but I could always tell all of the emotions behind it. It's really hard to think that I could never get a chance to feel that way again.

I'm lost in my own thoughts when I feel fingers wrapped around mine. I know they are Jordi's. I don't glance over towards him, not wanting to make things awkward but instead I exhale slowly, enjoying the sweet gesture quietly

I'm about to surrender back to my bad thoughts when his thumb begins to lightly brush over the back of my hand, tracing small designs. Somehow this sensation keeps me occupied from my thoughts, I close my eyes, focusing on the gentleness of his touch rather than crippling anxieties about my mom. I know that's what he intended to happen all along.

We arrive back at the hospital and without saying a word Jordi releases his hand from mine, leaving me feeling like I'm missing a piece of me. When we are back inside the building Nurse Jackson places her hand on the small of my back before addressing everyone.

"Leo you have PT you're missing and Kara, a stress test. Everyone else back to their rooms." She begins to escort me in the direction of my room. I can't help but take one last glance behind me at Jordi. He still stands in the middle of the lobby, watching me be taken back to my room. We make eye contact for a slight moment before he lowers his eyes and turns to walk the other way.

We finally reach my room. Nurse Jackson leaves me stating that she'll be back in a few minutes to check my vitals. When I turn around to actually face my room I am greeted by a scene totally unsuspected.

Adorning my bed is now a light pink comforter complete with plenty of big, fluffy, ruffled pillows. The wall behind it has an arch of soft, twinkly Christmas lights, a decorative letter B positioned in the middle of it. There are tule sheets draped across my room with a chain pink and white paper lanterns looping the same way.

My eyes drift over to the other side of the room where a figure stands on a small step ladder painting a cherry blossom tree on large piece of paper hanging from the wall.

"Hayden?" I ask shocked.

"Yeah," He answers turning around. When he sees me a big smile spreads across his face. "Oh, hey Bee!" He grins.

"Did you do all of this?" I question, still not believing what I'm seeing.

"Yeah. I just kinda thought that a girl with a such a colorful personality like you needed a room to match." I let out a small laugh.

"Come here you." I smile. He climbs down from the ladder and walks over to me. I wrap my arms around him, giving him a big hug. "You didn't have to do this." I say when I finally pull away.

"I wanted to." He shrugs. I shake my head laughing.

"You're too sweet." Hayden gives me another small smile.

"I'm glad you think of me that way." He says. He bites his lip and glances away for a split second before looking back at me. "Bee, I wanted to ask you something." He begins a little more seriously.

"Sure anything." I state. He runs his hand through his hair once nervously before speaking.

"Would you possibly like to go on a date with me?" He asks. My eyes pop open and my lips form a smile too big for my face.

"Wait, a date. As in, you.. and me… together.. on a date?" I gesture between us excitedly.

"Yes." He laughs. "I do believe that's what a date is."

"I'd love to!" I exclaim before composing myself in that totally tacky, cliche way. "I mean, I'd have to clear it with Nurse Jackson and make sure I don't have any appointments or anything but-"

"Already did." Hayden smiles confidently. "She said that as long as it's low impact and we are back within two hours she'll allow it."

"When are you thinking?" I inquire.

"Tomorrow." He replies point blankly.

"Tomorrow?" I exclaim. He laughs.

"Yes, tomorrow!" He grins.

"What are we going to do?" I continue prying. Hayden holds up a finger.

"Eh-" He interrupts me. "That, my dear Phoebe, is a surprise." He taps my nose with his finger leaving a dot of pink paint there. I can't help but giggle.

"That's not fair." I pout crossing my arms.

"Yes it is." He teases mocking my action. He glances over towards the clock on my wall. "I probably should be going about now." He says. There's not even a hint of sadness in his voice so I know his departure is all just part of his act.

"So you're not going to tell me anything." I scoff.

"Nope." He gives me a cocky grin. "Until then." He says leaning over to peck a kiss on my cheek. He gives me self-assured wink before striding out of the room. I can't help but think back to Jordi in the car earlier, I can still feel the where his thumb grazed the back of my palm. I quickly push the thoughts aside not wanting anything to ruin this moment. I race over to my bed and toss myself upon it. I lay on my back and let out a small sigh. I spend the rest of the day fantasizing about every little detail for tomorrow.

It's funny how love does that to you. Captivates your attention so you can't think of anything else until another thing you love steps forward and takes you away from the one before. It's an endless cycle in my opinion, things constantly switching back and forth, but at the moment, I'm happy. That's all that matters.

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><p><strong>I bet I got you all thinking Bee was going back to Jordi didn't I? So yeah, she's in a little bit of mess at the moment but everything will figure tiself out eventually. A couple heartbreaks and few arguments, I guarantee it'll all be good in the long run ;) (no more spoiled Britt!) ANYWAY.. Todays QOTC is: Where should Hayden take Bee on their first date? I would love to hear where you guys are thinking or if anyone wants to share any stories of their favorite date spots and or activities.<strong>

**As usual shout outs to **percyjacksonforevah **and **xoElle23 **you both never cease to make me smile. Again don't forget to spread the word about reviews and review yourself so we can get to 50 and I can post answers to all your questions! If you have any questions don't be afraid to PM me but like I said I do read EVERY SINGLE review! I really appreciate all the love you give me and I want to thank you all for sticking with my story for so long, it means a lot. **

**Lots of Love - Britt**


	22. Chapter 22: The Little White Dress

**Hey Guys! Omg it feels like I haven't been on here in so long (even though I'm constantly checking back on my favorite stories and reviews ;)) Anyway I want to apologize for that I got really sick last week. When I went to the doctors Wednesday night, well I guess it was actually the urgent care but that sounds awful, they said that I had bronchitis and a double ear infection which hurt like no other. So I stayed home from school and got this dumb stomach bug on top of everything! Couldn't keep any antibiotics or fluids down or anything and I just miserable! Long story short I'm feeling much better now and can go back to writing! I made sure to make this chapter pretty long for you all to make up for missing all of last week. Without anymore boring sick stories here's Chapter Twenty Two! (PS I was sure to add a little Jordi in there for all my Beedi fans out there)**

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><p>For the first time since Christmas my eyes pop open by themselves this morning. The first thing they see is the beautiful mural Hayden painted for me yesterday. A huge grin spreads across my face. Today's the day. I get to go on a date! It's just like old times going out for dinner or a movie. I can't help but wonder what Hayden has planned for today.<p>

I toss the covers off my bed and skip over to the windows throwing open the curtains letting sunshine flood into the room. I sneak my phone out from the drawer I keep it hidden in and turn on some music. For the first time in a while I feel like myself, not this hollowed out depressed girl.

I feel like there's so much to do I don't even know where to start. I look around my room, it's a little messy. Assuming Hayden will pick me up here I try to straighten up a bit and make my bed.

"Look who's up by themselves this morning." Nurse Jackson's voice exclaims. I fumble with my phone trying to turn off the music but it ends up flinging out of my hands, landing at her feet. We both stand there staring at each other a moment before Nurse J shrugs. "I didn't see anything." She states blatantly. I smile and snatch my phone up before going back over to my bed. There's a silence that lingers in the air and I know there is something Nurse Jackson is hesitating to tell me.

"So what's the plan for today?" I probe trying to get something out of her.

"Well, Hayden will be here around noon which means you have about two hours to get ready. Hunter's parents are meeting with McAndrew later this afternoon regarding that fever he was running yesterday. You also have an appointment with Dr. Grace to check on your concussion." She splurs out in response.

"Wow. Busy day." I chuckle. She gives me a serious look.

"Bee, I'm not going to lie. I'm a little nervous." She starts gently.

"Why?" I ask

"You've been through a lot in these past couple days, I'm afraid that you're concussion has gotten worse. You haven't had much time to rest between your mom and now this date with Hayden. All these things are happening but yet you're not ready." Nurse Jackson says sadly. There's so much depth to her words. It's one of those things that provoke a lot of emotions and thoughts in you but for now I'll save those for a later time because I can read the concern in Nurse Jackson's voice and I don't like the sound of it.

"I feel fine Nurse J, really. Don't worry about me." I walk over and give her a hug. She pulls me into her and strokes my back.

"It's my job to worry about you baby." She murmurs under her breath. We pull apart a moment later and I give her a small smile.

"I better start getting ready." I tell her and she nods.

"I'll be back in a little bit to bring you breakfast and check your vitals." We exchange one more smile before she exits back into the hallway and I get into the shower.

**Time skip**

**Nurse Jackson's POV**

"How's our little sleeping Bee-auty doing today?" Brittany asks me as I approach the Nurses station. She gives out a small laugh. "See what I did there? Bee, auty. Beauty. I crack myself up." Kenjii shakes his head taking another swig from that ugly coffee mug of his.

"I have yet to understand how you are so lively in the morning Britt." He laughs before turning to me."Should I fetch the ice water or are we going the nontraditional route of pots and pans today."

"No, Bee actually managed to beat me to the chase this morning. When I came in she was already up and cleaning her room." Kenjii spits out his coffee and starts coughing. Brittany's head is shaking back and forth so quickly I'm sure it's going to fly off.

"You're joking! She was up before 11?" Brittany asks.

"I'm more surprised by the fact she was actually cleaning." Kenjii exclaims. Him and Brittany exchange glances and I know what's coming.

"It's love!" Brittany cries and I roll my eyes.

"First Emma and now Bee. When I started working here I didn't know I signed up to be on a teenage rom-com." Kenjii jokes.

"Okay Kenjii are you team Haydee or team Beedi?" Brittany babbles on. Kenjii grimaces

"Ohh I could never pick, I don't want to jinx anything." Brittany rolls her eyes before turning to me.

"Kenjii you're no fun. What about you Nurse J? Haydee or Beeji?" This all seems like a game to them. They don't seem to understand how much of an influence each of these boys have on Bee especially when she's in such a fragile state. Even the idea of a relationship seems like too much for me.

"Each has their downfall." I hesitate. "I just don't know what I think about this Hayden guy."

"Why's that?" Dr McAndrew buts into the conversation.

"Ugh you too?" I groan. He let's out a chuckle.

"Hey I'm a fan of romances around as much as everyone else." He states.

"Too bad you suck at them yourself." Kenjii remarks. Him and Brittany high five. I think I'm about to slide out of the conversation but everyone's eyes find their way back to me and I find myself continuing.

"I just think they are too much alike. Let's face it, Bee is that girl everyone wants to be at school. Pretty, nice, smart. When she came her she didn't have that reputation anymore. Along comes Hayden, basically the guy version of Bee of course they are going to hit it off but Bee's not the same girl anymore. She's been through too much. I think that instead of focusing on getting better she's trying too hard to get her old life back in exchange for the one she has now, starting with dating the guy she would've gone out with if things were back to 'normal'. It's all a coping mechanism to keep her from dealing with the problems at hand." Everyone is silent, giving me blank stares

"So basically you're team Beedi?" Britt finally breaks the silence with the worse possible comment I can imagine. I roll my eyes. Suddenly there's a bang from Bee's room and we all turn to look over there.

"What was that?" McAndrew asks. Britt's face lights up.

"I know! Listen." We all listen closely and soon there's a groan and a mumbled thud. I look questioningly at Nurse Dobler. "It's wardrobe denial!" She states as if it was completely obvious. We all let out a groan of relief.

"Somebody better go deal with that." Dr McAndrew comments before walking away. Britt squints her eyes and crosses her fingers before I wave her off.

"Go." I motion. "But you're in charge of breakfast and vitals!" I shout after her

**Bee's POV**

"This is a joke." I whine looking down at my small collections of dresses.

"If you're talking about that cheetah print hooker dress of yours I would totally agree." I turn around to see Nurse Brittany standing in my doorway with a gentle smile on her face. "Having a little trouble finding that perfect date outfit?" She chuckles.

"I don't think I've ever realized how awful I look in everything." I groan.

"Oh Bee no! You're on of the prettiest girls I've known!" Nurse Brittany shuffles into my room to sit beside me on the floor wrapping her arms around me. "Do you want me to help?" She asks. I feel bad saying no so I just nod. She gets up and walks over towards my small closet.

"I already pulled out every dress in there, it's no use." I mumble sadly.

"What about this one?" She asks after a moment of rummaging through the cramped space. She pulls of a white short sleeve dress. It has a heart shape cut out of the back and is fitted toward the waist. I lower my eyes.

"I can't wear that." I answer sadly. Britt gives me a confused look.

"Why not?" I bite my lip involuntarily glancing down at my wrists where my hoodie sleeves are hiding what's underneath. She let's out a small ohh before inspecting the dress once more. Her face lights up. "Give me one second. I have an idea." She picks up my dress and races out of my room.

I shake my head before returning to my makeup. A few minutes later I hear footsteps enter my room.

"What did you find Nurse Brittany?" I ask turning around. Instead I see Jordi standing in the middle of my room.

"I know the hair's getting a little long but I'm pretty sure I'm not a girl." He jokes. "Or do my sneakers sound too much like heels?" He stomps around in a circle once before giving me a smile.

"Sorry, she's supposed to bring me my dress." I apologize. I hesitate. He's being so friendly all of a sudden but I'm just making things awkward. My mind drifts back to his hand in mine and I have to literally shake myself from my thoughts.

"Ahh. I knew the gorgeous Phoebe Johnson couldn't present herself to the world in a baggy sweatshirt and jogging shorts. You're much too fashionable for that. Besides it's Tuesday, you always wear dresses on Tuesdays I should've known." Do I really? I've never noticed. I crack a small smile. Has Jordi really been taking this much notice of me? How sweet. _Hayden. Date. Stop. _I shake my head again.

"I guess I'd have to agree with you." I laugh. "I look like a hot mess in sweats." Jordi looks me up and down before smiling.

"I don't think so. You look beautiful." He smiles.

"Shut up." I laugh.

"No no! Really. You really look beautiful no matter what you're wearing." He's flirting. Oh God he's flirting. Why now? Oh I know, it's that typical guy thing where they only start to make the moves when competition shows up. I know this isn't true though, Jordi's just acting like himself.

Just then Brittany bursts into my room juggling my dress and a mysterious bag in one arm and my breakfast tray in the other.

"Oh hey Jordi." She beams. "Uh do you mind giving me a hand?" He jumps up to take the tray from her and places it beside my bed. Brittany rushes over to me, taking my hand and shoving me into the bathroom.

"Are you sure I look okay?" I ask her a few m

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><p>minutes later. She nods a big grin on her face. I let out a slow breath then slide open the door. I smile at Jordi who's taken a seat on my bed. He looks over my outfit. It's the same white dress but Britt's paired it with a bunch of cute boho style bangles to wear on my wrists. What wasn't covered we buried under foundation. It's my first time wearing short sleeves in almost 2 months. It's weird but I like it.<p>

"Wow Bee." Jordi smiles at me. "You look incredible."

"Couldn't have said it better myself." All eyes fly over to the other side of the room where Hayden is standing dressed in a light pink collared shirt and khaki pants. He's holding a small bouquet of flowers. I feel the smile on my face grow wider and he opens his arms to me. I force myself not to run into them. "Hey Babe." He states clearly before pecking a kiss on my cheek. I feel my face begin to warm.

I almost forget about everyone still in my room watching on. "Hayden this is Nurse Brittany-"

"Aka her personal stylist." Britt butts in and I laugh. Hayden gives her a small smile. I look over to Jordi who sits upright. Aw man I kinda feel bad putting him in this situation, I can tell Hayden is eyeing him like a hawk.

"Uh and this is -Jordi." I state. I hesitated, damn it I hesitated. I was about to say 'my friend Jordi' but something caught on my tongue not allowing the words to come out. Hayden reaches over to shake Jordi's hand and the tension is rigid throughout the entire gesture.

When Hayden pulls away he puts the same arm around me and for a second it seriously feels like Jordi's embracing me instead.

"Well we probably better be going, I want to make the most of the small amount of time I have with you." He glances back over to towards Jordi, handing him the bouquet. "Put these in a vase for me would ya champ? Put them somewhere where Bee can always see them; I want her to be constantly reminded of me."

Jordi picks up the flowers gently holding them close to him. Hayden beams me another confident grin before we walk out of my room his arm still around me. I can't help but glance back to see Jordi watching us depart with a sad look on his face. I turn back around swallowing hard. I like Hayden a lot, I just hope I'm making the right choice.

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><p><strong>So Bee's date with Hayden will be basically the next chapter which I think will be a lot of fun but I NEED IDEAS! PLEASE share any places you think would be good for them to go or some place where it would be fun. Remember it can be anything really physical because of Bee's head. <strong>

**Also I'm still keeping my promise on posting a page from Bee's journal at FIFTY REVIEWS where she answers questions sent in by you, by BEEautiful readers! Haha see what I did there? I think Britt's starting to wear off on me, oh wait my name is Britt.. Coincidence? I think not ! I think this could be a lot of fun but I need lots of reader support and questions to make it happen so stay active! **

**Finally today's QOTC is: WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF SATURDAY'S EPISODE?! OMG I was probably crying like six times but I'm not going to spoil anything! Let me know below!**

**As always big thanks to **xoElle23 **,** percyjacksonforevah **, **Allie shimoni **and** Ravenclaw-or-Gryffindor! **Keep up the lovely responses I love hearing them!**

**Lots of Love - Britt **


	23. Chapter 23: A World of Their Own

**Hey Guys! So as you can tell I've been a little behind in my writing so I'll probably only be posting on Mondays now. School is just getting really busy and I've had so much to do. I've been so happy to see all the reviews you guys are leaving and all the followers this story is gaining! Keep it up and I promise not to disappoint. I'll cut this intro short since you've all been waiting so patiently for this update :) Go for it.**

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><p>We make our way out to the parking lot and I feel as my anxieties begin to peak. I thought I had gotten over my fear of car rides but now as my breath keeps catching in my throat I highly doubt that is the case. I try to calm myself down without Hayden noticing anything is off. I'm only a tiny bit calmer when we reach his parking spot.<p>

"Nice car." I comment cooly as Hayden walks me around to the passenger side opening the door like a gentleman.

"She's a beaut." He chuckles pretending to polish off his white Audi. He walks back around to the other side before sliding into the car. He gives me a sly smile before starting up the engine.

"How is it that you managed to get out of school today?" I ask trying to make conversation to get my mind off of how dangerously fast this vehicle has the ability to move.

"It's a private school, a year round private school I forgot to mention. Our breaks our different." I nod in response. I watch out the window as we slowly pull out of the lot but as soon as he hits the highway Hayden's speed picks up dramatically or maybe it's just me.

I feel my breathing grow fast and my nails are digging into the palms of my hands trying to give me something to focus on rather than the little number on the dashboard that just seems to keep going up and up.

"You okay over there Bee?" Hayden's voice snaps me from my thoughts.

"Yeah!" I start. "Why?"

"You just look like you were having a panic attack or something." Hayden gives a small laugh and I know that he is joking, there's no possible way he can know what's truly going through my mind.

"Haha no. I just had one of those moments when you feel like you can't find your phone." I cover up my lie with a laugh. "But, how far exactly is the place." Hayden gives me a look but he's still smiling.

"I'm not telling you where-"

"I knowww." I whine. He laughs before answering reluctantly.

"No more than ten minutes." I let out a silent sigh of relief and settle back into the chair. Hayden begins to hum along to the song on the radio and I watch him with a smile on my face. "Do you sing?" He asks.

"No." The lie slips out instinctively making me feel a little sad. I remember back to singing with Jordi how there were no insecurities and nothing held back unlike now I'm trying so hard to make sure I don't give Hayden anything that would make him like me less. I daze out the window with Hayden's soft mediocre voice in the background.

**Jordi POV**

After I put Bee's flowers into a vase, taking extra care to make them look nice, I gently take a seat on her bed. I don't understand why I even try, she's with Hayden now so why do I care that her flowers look nice. I should stomp them beneath my feet not arrange them to look just the right way.

Without thinking I reach into Bee's pillow case and pull out the frame she keeps hidden in there. I stare long and hard at it. Does Hayden even know her whole story? Knowing Bee she's probably kept it on the down low just like she did with us. It makes me worried that he won't know how to take care of her properly. I would know.

I know how she loves vanilla ice cream and it's her panacea despite how hard she'll try to deny it. I know she hates her therapy sessions with Dr. Heart more than anything in the whole world. I know she's always tried to be the pretty popular girl but deep down all she's ever wanted was to be successful. That was just Bee, she's ambitious and she won't let a disease as nonthreatening as Depression keep her from what she wants.

That's the other thing about Bee. She's never been able to grasp the concept that she's important, and that she does have a real problem. To her it's just a title, something she can easily discard and prove wrong but it's not. I've almost lost her because of that mindset she holds so near and dear to her heart.

"Jordi." I hear a voice behind me. I turn to see Emma in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" She asks entering cautiously.

I look at her, this girl I used to have feelings for but who ended up with another guy, just like Bee. I feel my eyes begin to well up and a lump grow in my throat. I can't help it but I choke out a sob.

"I miss her." I shake biting my knuckle to try and quiet the strangled cries wanting to come out of me. I can feel Emma's hesitation before she sits down beside me and wraps her arms around. I cry into her like a baby until I feel nothing but numbness throughout my entire body. Without saying another word I get up and leave.

**Bee's POV**

"The aquarium?" I ask as we pull into a parking garage adjacent to the big glass building.

"Yup, I was going to take you to the movies and like a late lunch afterwards but Jackson said that the movies would be too much stimuli and that you had a meeting with Dr. Grace later anyway so we decided against it. Is that okay?" He gives me a sheepish smile and I let out a small giggle.

"Absolutely, besides I've been on way too many dinner-movie dates anyway." We park and again Hayden opens my door before taking my hand in his and leading us up out of the garage.

We wander around the aquarium a bit just taking in the different attractions and talking about stupid things. We almost pass the penguin exhibit but I stop dead in my tracks and drag him back to the small set of seats in front of the glass enclosure.

"Penguins?" He laughs and I nod taking a seat beside him. I watch as a few dive into the water in sync almost like they were racing to see who would hit the water first. There are a few more off on the ice waddling around each other without exactly leaving the group.

"They're neat aren't they?" I speak up. I feel Hayden shrug.

"Neat, sure, but a little sad if you ask me." He states and I give him a look.

"Sad?" I ask.

"Yeah, I mean look at them. They are categorized as birds but yet, they can't fly, and they are located in a place completely isolated from any other birds. It's sad, it's like they are all alone."

"They're not alone." I feel myself counter without much thought. "They have each other. Sure they are different and you're right in the fact they are in their own little world but in that little world things are normal for them. Just because they look different and live in a different place doesn't make them not birds." I finish confidently. Whereas I feel like I should receive an award for my speech Hayden just gives me a little bit of a smirk and a pat on the knee.

"You're so creative." He laughs and I force myself to give him a tight smile. I don't know why but for some odd reason I feel really connected to these birds...

**Jordi's POV**

I storm to my room and I'm instantly disappointed Leo's in there.

"Hey man, what's up?" He glances up from his phone.

"Nothing." I grumble snatching up my guitar without even glancing his way.

"Woah, are you okay?" He starts sitting up straighter and giving me a concerned look. I just sling my guitar over my shoulder and leave as quickly as I came.

I find myself absentmindedly walking the familiar route towards the doctors lounge without even caring who saw me. Once in there I push open the door that leads outside and carefully jog down the path to the creek. When I finally reach it I collapse onto a bench. I want to cry again but I'm still faced with numbness. I pull guitar around in front of me and place my hand on familiar chords.

_Her best days will be some of my worst  
>She finally met a man that's gonna put her first<br>While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
>'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven...even...no<em>

_What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,_  
><em>And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<em>  
><em>I'm falling to pieces, yeah,<em>  
><em>I'm falling to pieces…<em>

**Bee's POV**

Hayden and I wander around the aquarium a little more. I'm not going to say I didn't have fun, it was actually one of the most creative dates I've ever been on, it's just something's a little off putting being here with Hayden and I can't shake Jordi from my. For the 5th time in the past 10 minutes his phone dings and he pulls it out.

"Who is it?" I ask. I don't mean to but anymore I have no control of what comes out of my mouth.

"My mom. She's saying that Hunter may be coming home today." He reads from his phone. I fake my enthusiasm but inside I feel a pang of sadness.

"That's great Hayden!" I smile but he doesn't. He gives me a despondent "yeah" before putting his phone on silent and sliding it back into his pocket. He glances down at his watch before giving me a worried look.

"We have fifteen minutes before you need to be back at the hospital." He states.

"Oh crap." I exclaim. "We better hurry." We race out of the aquarium and towards his car. This time we are so rushed he doesn't bother to open my side of the door but instead I swing it open myself and hop in. It took us about 10 minutes to get here and currently we have about 8 to get back. Whatever anxiety I had before quadruples at the idea of speeding through busy LA streets.

My breathing begins to speed up as images flash across my memory from the night of the accident. I feel my vision begin to blur and black spots dot across my vision. I reach over to grab Hayden's arm trying to get his attention but everything goes black.

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><p><strong>Not too shabby eh? Haha well on that dramatic note I would like to remind everyone to review and that once we hit 50 reviews I will be posting a page from Bee's "journal" answering questions sent in by you guys! These could be anything ranging from what is your favorite song to who do you like more Hayden or Jordi. Get creative with it!<strong>

**I would like to give super duper shout outs to **xoElle23 **,** sadboyplanet **,** percyjacksonforevah **,** Guest**,** **and **Allie Shimoni**. You all have such creative, funny and down right awesome reviews and I love rereading them over and over again! You guys are the thanks for all your love and support 3**

**Lots of Love -Britt **


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